Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I drove for three hours to surprise a girl after surgery. My truck broke down outside her place, and it turns out she's over an hour away at her family's place. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
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Top comments
juybuygo 13
that show is STILL on the air?
Lanceeden 12
DAMN IT DUDE OZZY SHOULD HAVE WON.
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Comments (117)
Lazydirt 5
was she wrong to do that?
Epic_Fail911 15
This girl sure knows her priorities.
jelmermcgee 8
You definitely shouldn't have tried to compete with Survivor.
arkid24 1
Yes, yes she was
onlychildFTW 34
Well to be on her side it was the end and they were announcing the winner. But that still sucks for op.
banshee2918 0
It was the season finale...
Xly_fml 5
It wasn't even a good finale... I mean, Sophie won. Come on.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^ I know right. I also hated how Coach bs'd the whole "honor ad integrity" shit. It's impossible to win the game without backstabbing at least one person. He ended up backstabbing like 10.
crisspz 4
#teamcochrane
mintyfroyo 0
Cochran ? That dorky wimp ? He betrayed his whole ******* team !
ohmylanta22 5
Omg yes 109! Seriously he was like the unlikeable nerd.
Steel_BZ 8
Yes she was. That show sucks.
juybuygo 13
that show is STILL on the air?
Isaac_The_Man 0
I tried to take my parents out last night, when we sat down she heard people talk about it being on tonight. She left me the bill and an expensive bottle of wine...
Lanceeden 12
DAMN IT DUDE OZZY SHOULD HAVE WON.
Andr913 13
27-No he shouldn't have. Redemption Island is a terrible twist and it voids his credibility as a player. Sophie deserved it fair and square.
wooley29 8
I didn't care for any of the finalists. Good season though!
gundamexia 0
apparently it's up to its 23rd or something season... kept hearing survivor panama island ads on tv when i was a kid x) i've only seen redemption :P
Lanceeden 12
Sophie was a bitch. On a separate note, doesn't ozzy REALLY look like captain jack sparrow?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I was actually so pissed when Coach didn't put Ozzy through. Damn you BENJAMIN.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I didn't like Ozzy this season. Oh and... * FUN FACT TIME* Did you know Ozzy did ****? Don't believe me? Google Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth playboy. BAM.
BrownEyes97 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You act like 45 minutes is a terribly long drive.
1PaulyD 9
hey
Yodaevil 4
Shit, I drive 45 one way into work. And I bet most people drive that and then some! I'd be pissed about the roses! Those are expensive!
BrownEyes97 1
I hadn't thought about the roses thing, it's an excellent point.
UrLyfSuxx 0
-10 Hey whats up ?
brick_man33 14
sounds like you relationship should be on "survivor" how long will it last?
KiddNYC1O 22
Me too, 30. Another 45 minutes with traffic and another 30 looking for parking on bad days.
bfsd42 20
Clearly u have no sex life dude with a pic like that.
RouletteRed 6
Dick move, but really good show. Still I advise to find someone who has bigger priorities in life then a new episode. Good luck :)
MikeDa1Da 14
Than*
sushdrag 0
agree
jillianmathers12 13
Survivor is beast! You should have made sure she didn't have anything to do that night before you went!
EvilTwerp 12
Then it wouldn't be a surprise.
jillianmathers12 13
He could of casually asked what she was doing later?
bkwopper 0
Ya and if it was the other way around there would be hell to pay
moop256 10
Yeah I'm not gonna lie it is a great show but nowadays you can record tv on a Dvr
flockz 20
sounds like your flame was put out.
tehrealone 6
Low t?
Lights_Out_fml 6
Survivor is the shit bro. But she should've at least said thankyou and asked for you to watch it with her
yumlicious 4
Or like a normal human being being of the 21century she could DVR/TiVo her shows.
ashbby27 3
Ha. I did that for my boyfriend once. I drove 3 hours home to see him only for him to tell me he would rather see his friends and would not see me.
ikickgingers 15
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays... Buy the bish a DVR...
bkwopper 0
PVR smart one not DVR
ikickgingers 15
Bow down bish!! it's the same thing ya effing chode...
fuzzbuck1 4
What a ho
rabbittboi 18
An ungrateful go, at that.
flockz 20
i hate it when someone gives me an ungrateful go. people say i play Monopoly too much. but you know what i say? if i go around an entire block, then i expect my $200 when i turn the Go corner. if someone doesn't give me my money, they need to go to jail, which is why i have 911 on speed dial. they should be more grateful that i don't sue them for all they're worth.