Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
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Comments (181)
SxeDaze 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you had enough of his shit.
chickenwalrus 14
Sounds like youre not funny
Branflakes78 13
Its the other way around Dumbass!! the dad locked him in the bathroom for talking shit to his dad and had enough of OPs shit
FruityLoooons 8
"Fed up with his constant shit..." It appears so, 1. It appears so.
BarDownDaily 12
You overreacted to him asking you to do the dishes. And he retaliated by overreacting to your overreaction.
cetlawizard 15
1, if you're really a 19 yr old man...why would you use a picture of an overweight 10 yr old boy as your profile picture....just saying, makes you seem kinda pedo, & your comment was what we'd expect from a disrespectful 13 yr old girl (itskaylabitch is a good example).
studdmuffin1990 7
49- I was about to type the same thing until I saw yours. There's no way he's 19 based on the picture/comment.
ActionManly 11
Really? You guys think he deserved it? From reading the FML I get the impression that OP's dad is a total **** a lot of the time. And to be locked in a bathroom for two hours? Just for talking back? That's way too much right there.
SxeDaze 13
I just wanted to leave a comment and see how many thumbs down I would get. I intentionally used the shittiest pun I could think of, Judging by all the negativity I think my experiment was a success!!
rocky910 5
Leave Gibby alone.... Wait did i say Gibby? I meant SxeDaze
Zaros_fml 24
57- You know that's not actually him, right? That picture has been floating around on the Internet for awhile now and is a prime example of how retarded "gangsters" can look, even at 10.
Adelaide_CF 6
"From reading the FML I get the impression that OP's dad is a total **** a lot of the time. " Well, it might be that OP's dad is a despotic bastard, yelling at OP every time... but it also might be that OP is a spoiled brat with no respect to their dad ;) It really can be either way.
ladyLALAA 29
I think his pictures funny, I wouldn't mind one of those cookie monster hats myself. :)
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
If I said that, my dad would have disemboweled me. With a spoon. And then still made me do the dishes anyway.
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
53 - I see what you did there
comedybreak 20
And make you pay him for the bullets he used?
detroitsucks247 3
Redwingnut... **** YOU!
Blackmail111 9
And for the software updates he installed the day before?
Palirose 22
And read your FML status about you complaining to was dishes in a YouTube video that millions seen?
tjv3 10
Well maybe it's time for you to move out if you can't take his rules. You should respect your dad
kamikrazy 6
It isn't until ones parents are gone till they realize their true value.
Lesbiantrash 8
Ya same. But they did say they were fed up with their parent's shit. So there might have been problems at home. Idk
mnmolino 14
Sounds like a First Class dad
NuTrees 9
Yeah he raised his kid on 'bite me' instead of '**** you'.
Mister_Triangle 21
I misread your comment as "fist class dad" which would have been funnier for you to say
mnmolino 14
Why would I say "fist class dad"? And how would that have been funnier?
YouMadBro7 0
What exactly do you mean first class?
bkirby 4
H
Yellow_Fish79 11
Well, atleast he didn't bite you.
yahoowizard 16
I'd have preferred the bite over two hours locked in the bathroom
sparkrok 8
I wouldn't have minded two hours. As long as I had my Android with the FML app :)
roseXthorns 8
I'm assuming there was no window.
kooochris1995 14
There probably was but op is too stupid.
xDollyLove 3
Or it was the second floor
Bekll 31
Or it was in the middle of the first floor with no window like it is in my house.
HerWrongHole247 18
And then what would he do... go for a fking jog???
omfg_creepers 8
Way to fight the man
jarednt39 5
I think you meant "way to stick it to the man" school of rock reference?
ItsThisGirl 17
…not even a school of rock reference
ohSNAPyall 27
Jared, your comment makes me sad.
sparkrok 8
70 - Because they do it every ******* day and they are tired of it.
sparkrok 8
wrong thread, I deeply apologize
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
micahsmommy 13
Ask my husband and he'll tell you they're terribly hard. There's the washing, then the rinsing, the drying and then the putting away! That's a lot of steps!
aliadnan708 6
If it ain't hard then why most of the women complain about doing it. Just saying
kickassblackbelt 0
70- First of all, ain't is not a word. Secondly, if men took more initiative and helped around the house, I doubt we would say it's hard. It's the fact that they don't help which makes it really hard. The chores start adding up. It's not like men are the only ones who go to work...
cricket55 14
Because all men don't do work around the house.
kawaiisakura 12
Actually, ain't IS a word. Pretty sure it's in the dictionary so...and a lot of guys i know, don't do crap around the house. Take my dad and brother, they don't do shit. Just complain when things aren't done or nobody does the chores my brother is supposed to do.
bridie23 1
Well his taking a dump at the moment so he obviously can't just get up and do the dishes, make his dad wait a few minutes.
cobaltss06 1
Ain't is a word. Check the dictionary bitch
Sixers01 0
70 - Bite me.
tdawg4200 0
87. Look it up in the dictionary.
tdawg4200 0
Way to overgeneralize 87. Just because men don't want to help YOU doesn't mean we all suck. I swept AND did the dishes today. So take your manhating rhetoric out of here. Nobody cares.
Bekll 31
They can be if you have a bad back. My parents now ask me to do other chores instead since the last time I did the dishes the pain left me in tears.
Luke1717 0
I don't find it hard, I'm just another lazy ass who doesn't want to give up 10 minutes to chores
WhoaItsKiernan 4
^^I love how your picture goes perfect with this FML
sparkrok 8
70 - Because they do it every ******* day, and they're tired of it.
punk6743 0
I do the dishes every day it's not that hard
aasshhll3eyy 2
weird not often you get stuck in a room because of how the door generally opens
dhall30 8
Ya don't most bathroom doors open inward?
AmbrosiaWriter 17
If it did all the dad had to do was tie a bit of string around the doorknob then tie it to something else. I've done it many a time to my brother in revenge for some of his more douche-canoey antics.
OMGhiiiiii 4
Did you still have to do the dishes after that?
l0v3p4in 7
If OP didn't then the whole point for locking him in there would have been in vain. I doubt OP's dad would have allowed him out without still doing the dishes.
holly1398 5
omg I loveeeee ur picture(: #JustinBieberIsEvenMoreDeliciousAsABaby
1awliet 8
You're not very tough now are you?
FaustXIII 0
At least I'm not the only one who thought he came off a bit girly...