Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking about?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (166)
EmperorHilo 11
Turn the lights off, failing that, turn her over
Khalifa89 1
Wear a paper bag next time ;D
causticgirl 6
This relationship is probably not going to work out. You can't control your O face and still enjoy it all. You need a new girl. She needs a new puppy
Ariana2_fml 2
That might be an issue in the future haha
ewputthataway 0
Was her dog a Sharpay? (however you spell it) If it was...well...think about asking for paper bags for christmas. Fyl.
bubo_fml 11
I hope you didn't respond with something like, "Funny thing Baby, you remind me of my pussy cat!"
GypsyRover 0
That's just something she made up. She's cheating on you and feels guilty about it. Sorry man.
ritzia 4
How cute I'm sure any girl would be lucky to have you.
ritzia 4
Sorry wrong FML just ignore it.
KiddNYC1O 22
The ****? That is all.