Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking about?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
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Comments (166)
dansco 25
Dog killer! Mood killer too lol Tell her it's doggie style from now on or a bag over her head ;)
skulskinator 5
Was the sex worth it?
SpaceRanger09 0
Owch, dog house for you!
hateevryone 15
omg, she don't need to have sex until she's over it.
girl112891 7
That sucks. That's just bad. But don't think of it too badly. I had this very handsome boyfriend two years ago who looked a little like my friends bulldog. Something in their expressions...
shazza26 1
Sexy
maxsti04 1
Have you took an arrow to the knee?
brick_man33 14
you should have retorted, "who let the dogs out,woof woof woof ".
Ckoh23 7
I think at this rate, people are gonna think u really look like a dog when you are horny
iceliebedich 7
Awww...that's so sad but funny.