Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking about?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
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Comments (166)
kitty_f 3
well i guess she loves you that much :p
BlAzEtHiS 0
How ungrateful. You're probably better off without such a self centered woman in your life. Just sayin.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
How is crying over your dead dog self centered? I'd be crying over my dog too-I mean that's what people with a kind heart do, am I right?
BlAzEtHiS 0
Oops. Commented on the wrong fml.
imaginaryvoice 18
Dominate?
koolkat27 13
*dominant
imaginaryvoice 18
Dominate*
520kzk 2
106- fail
theninjkaymarie 0
You must have a barking good time!
loserman67 36
I don't think that there is any guy on the face of the earth that has a good "O" face. And, not to be disrespectful, but this comment *begs* the question; Just what did she used to do with her dog? Does she have an unusual amount of peanut butter around the house?
wolf7_fml 0
Having sex with you reminded her of a dead dog ? Gross man
lalamike25 0
She just practically had sex with her dead dog
Calyx_fml 22
You're her bitch.
EngagedToSatan 5
Ahahaha, your partner has issues.