Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my friend and I decided to have a "special intimate" moment together at his house. As soon as I start to really get into it, he said to me, "I sort of wanna do your mom." Way to kill the mood. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
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Top comments
DogStew 20
Oh come on! Give the guy a break. Look who he has to please.
EmDizzle2007 28
you have no sense of humor.
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Comments (22)
Glitterbaby2613 20
i had my now ex bf make fun of my boobs by calling the slightly smaller boob minnie and the bigger on mickey 🙄😏 that was one of the reasons i broke up with him
EmDizzle2007 28
you have no sense of humor.
Glitterbaby2613 20
well when your body shammed then youll understand
EmDizzle2007 28
I'm five foot five, fat as all ****, have a lazy eye and have had gray hair since I was a toddler... I might not have been the right person to use that card on
Glitterbaby2613 20
bro my point is that why would i make fun of your short commings, youre missing my point, if yiu love someone you wont body shame them, that joke isnt funny, but you probably dont get it
EmDizzle2007 28
if you're gonna expose yourself to someone, and you have a body flaw that you're insecure about, you should have discussed that with them looooong before they saw you naked live. as for why they would make jokes; people tend to make jokes when they are nervous to lighten the mood. he didn't make fun of your chest, he simply gave them nicknames. to be fair, this could have been malicious, this this why you spend time getting to know someone before you expose your naked, self-described flawed body to them.
misswilwarin96 11
I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to have a partner point out your insecurities, even as a joke. I don't know why everyone is attacking you. What your boyfriend did was gross & totally inappropriate. First, he said mom during sex; that's always a turnoff unless that's your kink. Second, he made a joke during sex. You're supposed to be having a romantic night and doing that during sex is just wrong. These guys on here giving you crap are just losers who don't know who to treat a woman right.
Glitterbaby2613 20
thanks hun, im trying to figure it out too, and if they dont see the problem with it, there must be something wrong with them
julfunky 29
What? The comment you’re replying to had nothing to do with any mom talk. You’re mixing up the comment and the FML.
Glitterbaby2613 20
probably....
kfchicken 31
she also got the FML wrong
DogStew 20
Oh come on! Give the guy a break. Look who he has to please.
Isaac Shields 9
the fact that you have no sense of humor probably killed the mood for him too
julfunky 29
If you can bring up your mother while having sex you have a problem.
Isaac Shields 9
and if you think that when people use the expression look mom no hands they are thinking if their mother and not just using a common expression then you're an idiot
xica_sp4ever 18
^ some people are able to laugh during sex, you & OP must not be one.
Isaac Shields 9
exactly
Sady_Ct 38
Look mum, no brains!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Who doesn't use their hands during sex? There's always something to play with.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
was his mum watching?
David McPherson 7
I need a girls opinion about the size of my dick