Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KBear3109 29
Never startle a distracted driver, YDI.
paperroll880 16
Hahah... Should've known better
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (469)
kimic12 4
Dang that sucks
zainrock 2
"Would be murderers" are actually twats like OP who add to a problem. I was on a call yesterday whilst driving, my handsfree battery died so the call switched to handset, the only distraction I had throughout my entire 120 mile journey was a dick-head signalling at me to put my phone away. The irony is, I was driving an automatic car, which only require one hand anyway...if there are shit drivers like OP who can't function as such then that's not everybody else's problem, mind your own business next time nobjockey
Sanch101 7
Why didn't you pull over to complete your call?
zainrock 2
Due to roadworks there was no hard shoulder (lay-by/place to pull over) like there usually is on the motorway... it was at 50mph on what's usually a 70 mph road at 7am on a Sunday morning...you can figure how much traffic there was...by the time the roadworks ended I was done with the call but my point is that I was wide awake driving on a road that I know really well, ill bet even With a phone in my hand I had less of a chance causing an accident than the idiot trying to tell me to put it away
dansco 25
Would be murders is a bit harsh but they are dangerous so good on you for beeping her! Shame she hit your car but make sure she pays for it!
SeemsToFail 0
Y guys both deserve it for being dumbasses
turkturkington 13
I would never do it now, but I used to talk on my phone while driving. The only distraction I ever got was some ******** looking over at me on the motorway and frantically signaling at me to stop. I know I was in the wrong for talking on the phone, and I wouldn't do it now - but unless you're the police I'm not gonna take kindly to interfering feckers who can't mind their own business. You'll both get in trouble for breaking the law, and caused both of you a lot of unnecessary trouble. Well done!
keidus324 6
Wow, what a bitch. You're more likely to kill someone by paying more attention to what people are doing in their cars than to driving so yeah...
RandallMP 3
Mind your own business? This is exactly why the world has gotten so bad ! No one will stand up against the wrong they just roll over and accept it . Your pretty much retarded
pandaRanda 0
******* retard. Worry about yourself.
Shadowmous3 2
I usually don't comment on FMLs cause I don't feel the need. But this one warrants a comment... And my comment is: you suck @ life. Go join neighborhood watch if you think your angst is going to make a difference.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Well you deserved to get hit for screwing with an already distracted driver, but if that person learns to put their damn phone away then that is a good thing. So I say its a draw.