Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
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Top comments
GreeneyedWonder 0
Wow, give the poor teenager a break, I don't think there's a reason to yell "**** you". We all have to be new drivers at some time.
you_failed 15
Hahaha xD YDI. Just honk! No need to make yourself look like an enraged idiot. :P
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Comments (149)
pr0j3ctsaturn413 1
I heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music, do ya? It goes like this the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the battle king composing Hallelujah! Hallelujah... Haalleeluujah... Haaalleeelujaaah... Haaaalleluuuuujaaaaaaah...
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
Hmm I smell a fire. Oh wait, it's just you being fired.
derpherp 0
(^○^) Silly Christians, logic are for others!
mrahhhhh 21
Ol' David probably didn't study for his rectal and played a C major chord. I'm just bored. Someone please entertain me. :'(
DocBastard 40
You just entertained the living hell out of me by talking about David studying for his rectal.
ZTD09 2
Doc, is that a coke bottle shoved up someones ass?
DocBastard 40
Yes, that's a patient of mine from about 3 years ago.
mrahhhhh 21
That would entertain you, DB. Now we see that you're a proctologist, Herr Doctor. :)
alwa7sh 2
I'm more of the R&B type. but let me know when this David is having a concert ill do my best to attend it.
DocBastard 40
Nah, a proctologist (aka gastroenterologist) specializes in all things digestive, with a slant towards internal medicine (though they do colonoscopies and upper endoscopies as well). I'm a general and trauma surgeon. Rectal foreign objects (and the assholes who insert them) usually fall to us.
mrahhhhh 21
Good Lord, I just saw the bottle in your profile picture, DB. That entertained me. Thank you! :D
DocBastard 40
KaySL, I see innumerable people with their heads up their asses right here on FML daily.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
The biggest thing ever shoved up someone's ass was a bowling pin! It wasn't easy, but I got it in there...
WishResign 0
12, fail at humor
sourgirl101 29
Have a Coke and a smile. Damn, I really thought that picture was a gag pic or an illusion with the X-ray taken with the bottle outside of the person's body. The things people do is mind boggling.
docscientist 10
Removing something from an asshole from an asshole? Mind blown.
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Doc you have the best job in the world.
sara8866 8
Doc I have a question did the patient explain why he/she stuffed the bottle up their ass?
SchiTzenGiglez 0
why woodnt you shove a bottle up your ass?
TheCurlyTheory 0
that's amazing.
JordenAsplund 0
Well your just about a ******...
_streets_ 19
haha sucka!
mshooter 0
EXACTLY! OP deserves it all the way.
jordan_may 0
man op youz a b***h driving is hard to learn so you should be more understanding.
you_failed 15
Hahaha xD YDI. Just honk! No need to make yourself look like an enraged idiot. :P
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Just an idiot then?
miniman524 0
**** u
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If your boss asks you about it, just tell him/her that their offspring needs to be more careful. Your boss wasn't driving AND it was outside of work. Termination of employment could be grounds for a lawsuit depending on where you live. If it's somewhere that employment is considered at-will, you're screwed.
cradle6 13
well said
KayeSimmy 0
completely agree. I don't care who it was, I would've done the same thing.
GreeneyedWonder 0
Wow, give the poor teenager a break, I don't think there's a reason to yell "**** you". We all have to be new drivers at some time.
MrsConcieded2k14 0
THANK YOU!!! I'll be doing drivers ed this summer and it's people like this that scared me shitless
SchiTzenGiglez 0
hahaha I like findin student drivers on the road. get in my big ass truck, ride their ass, rail on the horn, maybe follow em for a bit. so fun screwin with em
lifeinhd 3
Go ahead. Wait until the student driver hits their brakes, and you in your "big ass truck" find you have too much momentum to stop in time, so you rear-end them. Genius.
Bobissmall 13
Yup makes me laugh. If anyone drives too close or whatever when im learning to drive i laugh at them, they're the ones who are more likely to get hit.
SchiTzenGiglez 0
so your saying if they slam on the brakes and the momentum of my truck keeps goin, that I'll rear-end them? really 122? quit tryin to be smart smart ass friggin hate kids
SchiTzenGiglez 0
sorry 122, meant 112 dont fret, I still hate you both equally
lifeinhd 3
Um... why, what do *you* think would happen? Your truck will magically come to a stop miles away from their rear bumper?
snowboarder1417 2
Whoa, slow your roll there, road rage.
derpherp 0
Hahaha（・◇・）/~~~
Badjuju7711 0
I see nothing wrong here... Good job and if the little bastard almost hits you again do the same thing.
srgsk9 9
+1, I'm 17 and have enough sense to watch other cars and pedestrians. I also have enough sense to know not to hit them.
Alienkiller 0
#11 is right I'm 16 and yell the same thing to stupid drivers they get me so made
SchiTzenGiglez 0
yea but you guys are young, nobody cares
iwadasn 33
16-year-olds shouldn't be yelling at "stupid drivers." Didn't anyone teach you about the dangers of road rage?
DarkHelmet 10
I'm sensing a Pink Slip in your future...
ilovesexywomen 0
and then your boss saw his/her boss get flipped off by their boss in your passenger seat!!
mea_iloveskiing 26
Why you have to go and make things so complicated =D
rockyraccoon28 8
seriously.
ilovesexywomen 0
why you gotta make a big deal about it?
mea_iloveskiing 26
That was just from song complicated :)
ilovesexywomen 0
haha oh avril lavigne
mea_iloveskiing 26
Yes :) yes :)))