Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
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Top comments
JFAW 6
One of those days...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Did you have a bottle of urine in your hand, by chance? Shame on you, trying to spray people in their cars. "Cleaning windows," riiiight!
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Comments (144)
JFAW 6
One of those days...
gmaniac93 7
Well that sucks!
shadowdragon1 1
That's what u get for bring a master cheif wanna be
NuTrees 9
When people do that to me. I make sure I lock eyes and I smile and wave.
ShannyAK 16
Yes, just smile and wave
KingMomo360 13
Umm...What? "That's what u get for bring a master cheif wanna be." If you want people to understand what you're saying then you should use proper grammar and spelling.
mmmPoptarts 6
73- Master Chief*
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I think he meant to say Master Chef. That green mother ****** can cook up a mean grub salad. Haha.
botanistjessica 24
95 - I wouldn't go around correcting people incessantly unless I at least no the difference between your and you're.
botanistjessica 24
And shit. I obviously meant *know, but my phone had other ideas.
Meettitan 14
I hate to state the obvious here, but he could have possibly meant Master Chief from Halo; not a Native American chief, or a chef of any sorts.
shadowdragon1 1
Thanks
shadowdragon1 1
Yes that's the one halo damn Auto correct
JoeRogansBEARD 15
I think op is black ... (Not trying to be racist. But I think the lady in the car was)
jjessen 20
Bitch please, you're the only one who should be apologizing.
qwillis98 20
Go ******' google halo dumass.
twitch851 9
54- what the hell are you talking about?
green2go 14
Well that happens when you are wearing a ski mask op
bubina 14
You're. Touché.
ArmedcrackerR6 8
That's what you get for being ugly
loufol22 5
That's what you get for writing a bad comment
astralvagan 20
That's what you get for judgmental prick
newbiehere99 6
"That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa"
gracehi 33
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating...
sens3sfailing 25
*puts on a red haley williams wig and sings all of "that's what you get" along with the music in my head and doesn't notice the entire thread staring at me in a horrified way before all locking their car doors* god damn it! my heart won again!
Delta2Almanac 7
^^^ *locks door repeatedly AND rolls up windows*
loozoo730 7
Time for a wardrobe change?
desireev 18
Yeah, change your entire wardrobe because some looney bitch in a car didn't like the way you look... Sounds like a great idea! OP, you shoulda made a face and ran after her car and given her something to be really scared about. Besides, you'd get a good laugh out of it! Haha! :)
kdog333 1
or plastic surgery?
WhisperSoflty 20
I'm confused as to why this is getting so thumbed down. If someone is dressing like a hood rat, with their belt around the back of their knees and a shirt 6 sizes too big, walking around all "swag", then they can't be offended when people assume that they're a thug. Want to be respected? Carry yourself in a way that demands respect.
trivel64 16
Well there's a good chance it's not that he's dressing like a thug
loozoo730 7
Thank you 120
Jaevwyn 17
No she just thought she was in Jurassic Park for a min or two ;)
loufol22 5
Well that's not a good self esteem booster
fridabloman 3
Well, how do you look....?
JOcoco 14
If OP's name is anything to go by then OP may have looked like a lobstercola, which I imagine would of looked quite terrifying. But that's just me.
fridabloman 3
Lol yeah you're right!
PrussiaisAwesome 15
Some things don't need to be imagined. Thanks to your comment I scared myself.
idgaf528 6
Why are people so picky about what is a good comment or not? I'm sure we are all wondering what OP looks like to have scarred someone? Or whether he/she is a different race and the bitch in the car is just a racist pig ;3 but the commenter got negative votes for asking what OP looked like? Then when someone made a joke she said "yeah I guess you're right ha" and still got negative votes? -_- well, if it matters any, I do believe you deserve a thumbs up!!!(:
JOcoco 14
111 - The citizens of FML are fickle creatures. As to one reason why they may have been down voted may be that their comments were seen as redundant.
idgaf528 6
Which is dumb, there are thousands or millions of people on here, a few people are bound to think the same things, and not everyone goes through every last comment before he/she posts, I'm pretty sure everyone here has posted something that has already said before. Haha
jigglypuff34 16
Racist? Sexist? So many questions unanswered! Sorry though, some people are sheltered their whole life and don't know how do deal outside their comfort zone.
chveya 6
Sexism against men doesn't exist. Just like racism against white people doesn't exist (though I understand you're talking about black people - this is just an example). When people do things on the basis of someone being a man or being white, it's based on stereotypes but it's not sexism or racism in the same way as when it's a woman or a black person being discriminated against. When women are assaulted by men they are often victim-blamed if they weren't resistant enough. It's always in our best interest to protect ourselves when we can.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Did you have a bottle of urine in your hand, by chance? Shame on you, trying to spray people in their cars. "Cleaning windows," riiiight!
olpally 33
Made me think of the homeless guy in the movie "happy Gilmore" with Adam sandler. Lmao. He's trying to make money! Lol
MexicanTexasQtt 9
Lol from that FML the other day!
MexicanTexasQtt 9
Lol from that FML the other day!
Rainbowjumper0 12
So much for "Don't judge a book by its cover"
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe op looked like a harmless sugarplum fairy, and the old lady was just trying not to judge a book by its cover.. "That guy looks pretty harmless, better get out my gun before he rapes me."
cassieeeem 7
maybe it was just because OP was staring at her intensely while he was crossing the road!
krista17 11
Hahaha stay classy Alberta!
Pyapi 20
You just reminded her that she forgot to lock her doors! Imagine her horror of finding out she had ridden the car unlocked for so long!
fairymacabre 7
I was waiting for all the black jokes to flow in...