Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called Pizza Hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I'm sure you could make many friends with the promise of a pizza that action. Sorry, that was a cheesy pun.
alshygirl 14
You didn't have to fake having friends. The pizza guy doesn't judge
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Comments (94)
lurrelitti3M 7
You had enough time to submit this FML though, that's always something!
Soph_1984 2
What does that have to do with not having friends?
whythankyou 19
I think he meant to comment about the guy with the clingy girlfriend.
TheHolyJuiceBox 5
or because he is in college, and has time on his hands
tifdunc 14
This is like that Key and Peele bit
thxnder 14
I think #1 is suggesting that free time is an advantage to having no friends.
Pleonasm 36
I'm sure you could make many friends with the promise of a pizza that action. Sorry, that was a cheesy pun.
kailarahne 19
I wish could have a cat.
MilkyFilmz 26
Didn't know people liked getting their eyes clawed out.
Clioo_fml 17
That's strange, my eyes are still intact, even after all these years...my cats must be doing something wrong then, by your claims.
kiki9_fml 10
My eyes are scratch less! My cats must be broken! :(
TigerHood_fml 9
the four cats ive had must be horribly messed up because I have no scratched eyes! should I contact my vet? D:
Mauskau 36
51, your cat is so fat and fluffy! :3
Bekll 31
No shame in that; Cats are great listeners. When I was in college I made my best friends when I studied abroad my junior year. Now in grad school I'm still friends with them. It'll happen, OP. Just connect with people with similar interests - Join a club or do a school related activity.
nix1993 41
I once turned my en-suite shower on and left the bathroom door open a bit, so the delivery guy didn't think it was just for me.
Bano360 25
I once ordered two pizzas because it was buy one get one free. I changed up the toppings so it wouldn't look like it was just for me. But I actually wanted to get two of the same
jessibellasmiles 8
My cat likes pepperoni too! :D My rabbit prefers a nice vegetarian pizza though.
Alastor13X 8
As long as the cat doesn't like rabbit, everyone is happy.
alshygirl 14
You didn't have to fake having friends. The pizza guy doesn't judge
trex454 21
unless ur a fat old guy that answers the door in his underwear. I judge that guy every time
colton_colton 50
It's ok OP, i'd be your friend :)
buttcramp 21
I was going to say this too! OP, most people suck anyway so don't get too down.
itsjusttofunny 8
I agree. most people are not worth knowing. They're is no shame in being a lone wolf.
MilkyFilmz 26
So did the cat want pepperoni or not?
DrownedMyFish 18
Why did you feel the need to try to impress that guy in the first place? I'm sure he doesn't care if you have friends or not.