Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
uj_fml 4
LMFAO
Sanrio90 8
This is probably the funniest FML ever.
jmeg_fml 0
Hahahahaha dutch ovened. Congrats on your wedding!
icehot 0
fakee women dont fart
myuselestwocents 0
lol.. right. because the ones that don't must bitch alot... when they don't fart nor belch... they'd explode right? (sarcastic comment or not on your part (unsure), but i couldn't help inputting this response) :P
BLNovelist 0
No, the point is that only a "fake" woman would act as if she doesn't - considering real ones fart and belch, just like every other human on the planet.
icehot 0
lol they would explode. yea i was just playing
thetakingback 0
wrong. they were saying "Fake. Women don't fart."
BigSky 5
It's better to fart and bear the shame, then not to fart and bear the pain.
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
LOL!
containsnosoy 0
You just got married and your priorities for your wedding day/night are writing to FML?? FYL, but YDI.
nwoodh 0
#45, this probably happened a while back, and she just entered it today. It says the "Today, " part automatically, cause its funny, and they all match..fucktard.
mynameisnotjudie 0
lololololololololololololololololololol = ) that's all I have to say ;- )
Gillypants 3
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i laughed soooo hard after reading this that i cried. lmfaooooooooooooooooo
DemonicAngel151 0
O.O ok thats just wrong YDI
MattGil 0
Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.