Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
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Top comments
troll4thelulz 0
It could've been worse, you could've had explosive diarrhea while saying your vows.
iamchuck 0
Family functions are going to be a riot for years.
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Comments (69)
iamchuck 0
Family functions are going to be a riot for years.
SarahBearXoX 0
hahaha ^ so true n so sad
Cbizzlez 10
on your 50th aniversary they will play that tape and you will shit yourself laughing memories are a good thing
abbi96x 0
^^ true :]
kiltsaresexy 4
agreeed. this opens up for a lot of bad jokes. "Your wedding day was a real gas." "At least they married someone who knows how to cut loose"
littlemissdqgirl 8
lol 11
bettadenne1 0
now you'll be the butt of every joke. lol
Miss_Represented 0
Don't feel bad, I got nervous as I was about to walk down the aisle(before the music started) and while trying to stiffle a laugh I snorted... I'm pretty sure nerve noises are common, but people did laugh. Assholes. ;)
jenknee1989 0
hahahaajhh
ApplePieHead 0
Well, I guess your wedding... stunk...
cincin75 0
I hate say this, but OP I think your ex is worse than a *****. It is good for you to get rid of her before she bring you a daddy unknowned baby. You are lucky, just cheer up buddy.
cincin75 0
Damn, wrong post again.
Stevefett 0
6-you are gorgeous. Just sayin'
daveyb123 0
wow.
Kaiden2554 3
sneakyy littllee bastardd catch it next timmee
skyttlz 32
play the fart in slow mo
troll4thelulz 0
It could've been worse, you could've had explosive diarrhea while saying your vows.
3son_fail3 0
nice pic
ownage24 0
lmfao. I was about to say the same thing. freaking Anti- flood :/
hethisistony2 0
can't say I have ever farted from being nervous haha but that sucks man
Neybay 0
hehehe I love it, entertainment for the entire family! you know at every family get together if a fart is dropped back come the puns hehe :D
weege 0
dude be proud. not many people can say they did that hahaha
bentheman 0
Well look at the bright side..congrtz on gettn married :] as for the brother..tell him family stuff is private?? i guess..lol
GAbeauty 0
I would say f your life too but not for farting but for being on fmylife the day you got married...I mean really?!? You couldn't find anything else to do like a honeymoon or something?
Anteezy 7
You're stupid.
GAbeauty 0
Really? Well I think you're a sweet heart!
LilAfo 4
lol, just cuz the FML starts with "today, bla bla bla" it doesn't mean that the FML was written today :/ That's how every FML starts.
GAbeauty 0
Thanks:)! I'm new to this so unfortunately I didn't know that.
platsalsa 0
new or not. you are hot! I love GA
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
GAbeuty has a stinky butthole
coolbeens76 0
22 win
noseasmamon 0
....... just look at her hair... its obvious
rockhound 0
"GAbeauty".....conceited much?
gth829c 0
finally somebody knows it's not spelled "conceded"
Anteezy 7
I also like turtles, and I've seen the explanation of how "Today," is merely the format at least half a dozen times so now I just call people stupid. It's easier this way ;d roar.
dubstep87 0
r u a man or women
troll4thelulz 0
woman*
ownage24 0
dude your pic is freaking awsoume.
bossybanks 0
lol 11. and sorry op but that is funny. lol
IchbinSyn 0
On the bright side u didn't shit yourself