Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
noshitsherlock 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That is SO GROSS and you totally DESERVE IT. Since you knew you just farted, you could have stalled and not done the garter tradition right away.
Loser390 0
Why do you assume she didn't try?
cpatrick820 3
Elegant... At least it'll be a story to tell the kids.
dabreurower 0
ROFL!! If you told ur husband, he definitely say, "FML!!"
antbait11 0
hahahhaha i love it! at least you didn't shart!
izzok12 0
OMG are you David? Did you marry Megan Kimball???
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
dude... reread this. the OP is clearly the bride
jessmarie555 1
idiot its a girl
Phreephorm 0
I'd rather admit to everyone that I farted than have them think he was dry heaving from another smell up there. Lol, my 8 year old daughter tried to Dutch Oven me when she was laying in my bed watching a movie the other day.
xClarkGable 0
This is ten times grosser when you've been sick all day.
aback 5
You go, girl! I didn't know anybody who had dutch-ovened their husband at their wedding! =D
Mr_Shamrock 0
OMFG!!! ROFLMAO!!! sucks tho. fyl
Turnip_Girl 0
Congratulations! And commiserations. XD