Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
spillproof 0
okay, what ever you say.
jami09xo 0
omg this is def one of the funniest ones
cms70 0
This is not a FML. Its defintely a memory I'm sure you will both remember for the rest of your lives! lol
showurbones 0
LMAO what a great way to mark the rest of your marriage :)
luvedward4evr 0
LMFAO great start
bishoprsv2 0
Excuse me for sounding dumb, but what is dry-heaving?
aback 5
It's what you do when you're trying to puke but nothing comes up.
Missy_T 0
what does OP mean?
plexico 4
Then he threw the garter straight up, caught and ran over to the girl that caught the bouquet. He just hoped to high heaven that this one was less flatulent.
myname150 0
lmao. welcome to the age of camera phones and youtube! haha xD
Stevieebabyy 0
I have said this many times HOLD IT IN! And weren't there children probably at the wedding? Why would he do it seductivley if your FAMILY was there?
Lonely_Lez 0
Clearly you don't attend many weddings that feature the garter bit. That's simply how it is done, regardless of the people in attendance. I have never met anyone who thought it inappropriate at any of the weddings I have attended, and there were children and obviously family at all of them.
kikchik2491 0
because they are married and they can! it doesn't matter anymore...thats kinda what the garter thing is all about.
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
well... if the groom is a little outgoing he'll be a little more... er... playful =)