Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
shewenttojareds 16
He let out the Holy Ghost. You're blessed LOL.
Miss_Chevious 37
How do you know it wasn't your wife?
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Comments (65)
cooltatgar 31
HOLY FART Blessing in disguise LMAO
MisterEx 28
Blessing in disgust. YEAHHHHHHH!
shewenttojareds 16
He let out the Holy Ghost. You're blessed LOL.
potato_meat 12
Did it smell?
Lalala579121 28
Farts don't have noses, so no.
MisterEx 28
I am from the future, #38. You are going to be a school teacher. One day during class, a student will ask you if he/she can go to the bathroom. You will reply "I don't know, can you?"
cloco87 22
Guess the priest just had to release the demon.
koganti 18
I think it was a bad omen...very bad.
danm_1 28
Don't jinx their marriage! I'm sure that OP, and his now wife, will grow old together. sometimes sh*t just happens. Excuse the pun
Wolfipoo 31
Sorry that happened OP, it's messed up to be blamed for such things.
Mpii 11
Im sorry i accidently downvoted your comment!
snowboard143 9
I purposely downvoted your comment
Juliannb4 9
People don't seem to understand that farting is natural, like burping or taking a piss. Sure, it's noisy, but come on, guys! Farting is as natural as having sex: it can be loud, it can be quiet, but still natural ;).
Catdragon 40
but there is a time and place for everything, you don't go having sex in public.
brezzyanna 17
Yeah but sex is something you control. If you have to fart, you can't really hold it in for the entire ceremony, and you really shouldn't try. It's bad for your health
lulinator 40
Yes. Because farts that are held in travel up to your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from.
khorstmye 15
You don't? Where is your sense of excitement?!?
derangedplanet 23
Well things would certainly have been more interesting if the priest had had sex on the alter rather than farting, who do you think it'd be? op or his wife? talk about having a naturally ****** life
MooseKnuckle503 11
Yes. There is a time & place for that aswell obviously
slothysarah37 19
"Holy shit." At least he didn't do THAT at your wedding
Psycocharger 19
See, even priests aren't honest sometimes
ShadowlessSpear 21
Don't you mean ever?
ohSNAPyall 27
"It was YOU! CONFESS!!"
Nilorak 24
Real classy op, blaming the priest. ?