Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
silentblack 0
Who stunk out who?
DocBastard 40
OMG no sex in a whole week??! How do you survive??? No but seriously, it's not very surprising how a funny moment can quickly and easily turn into an intimate moment. Laugh more with your partner, and you'll find you have a lot more sex.
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Comments (107)
silentblack 0
Who stunk out who?
Jakesterk96 8
Nobody wins in a farting war. Nobody.
incognito1520 20
#11 that's why crop dusting is better than engaging in a war.
n_epic_fail 14
Eproctophilia?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
December 6th, 2011: They are everywhere, I'm beginning to hallucinate from the gasses they excrete. We've been waiting for backup and ammunition. I'm beginning to think help will never come. If anyone finds this, please, tell my wife that her bean casserole let me last this long.
shanemaximo 7
#14 Ah, guerrilla tactics. That's how you win wars.
nava1210 12
11 - I win all the time..TRY ME!
48Connor 10
Holy shit. You haven't had intimacy in 1 week? I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU
chevy44448888 1
11 I wouldn't be to sure bout that......till one craps his pants....WIN
swampbilly 5
#37 lmfao bro that was hilarious
greenmen 12
Man you have some serious issues. Farting is nothing close to intimacy. Maybe try some sexy clothes will help!
itis409 14
Agreed! This is absolutely disgusting.
bigdog57_fml 9
So is your picture^^
Sway_NV 7
I've seen this same story over and over again. =
Schizomaniac 24
Really? Can you provide a link?
emba_fml 13
At least you're having fun?
kejones 0
Lol
mackdeezy 22
too true
feldco1 17
Hey, better than nothing, right?
Musicholic_asey 1
Remember to leave your windows open.
S0CCERSTAR01 2
1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a fart war!
Jakesterk96 8
5, 6, 7, 8, prepare for my flatulate!
flapdoodle 2
9, 10, 11, 12 watch out for the nasty smell!
DynamicDave 11
13, 14, 15, 16... ...Ah, crap, I got nothing. This stinks.
manatees_r_epic 0
17, 18, 19, 20! My comment isn't punny!
Metal_Chick 15
21, 22, 23, 24 You know who killed it? 74!
MisterDoctor 12
25, 26, 27, 28, that's something I'd appreciate!
DynamicDave 11
29, 30, 31, 32, Why does this thread smell like poo?
Havin 19
Methane assassination
valdezadair 0
At first, I thought your picture was Twilight. But it's not. Hopefully. Have nice day -.-
Havin 19
Lol God no! It's me & my favourite model XD. Edward can go jump.
DocBastard 40
OMG no sex in a whole week??! How do you survive??? No but seriously, it's not very surprising how a funny moment can quickly and easily turn into an intimate moment. Laugh more with your partner, and you'll find you have a lot more sex.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Thanks Dr. Phil
raney150 0
I like your first sentence. A week isn't that long of a time to not have sex. If it were a few months, I could sympathize.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
29. True that. Thanks Oprah in that case?