Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
myuselestwocents 0
Awesome.. Farting is totally a natural part of daily life... So is humour, and laughter I think OP, you're a winner! :)
LetItRock2009 0
Oh. My God. I literally laughed for ten minutes over this. Freaking hysterical. Heres to a good marriage!
shnibz101 0
WTF us is dutch ovened?
gregthestrange 3
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dutch+oven
spillproof 0
omg, I LOVE YOU
FPsLife 5
He'd better learn to handle a lot more than that over the years :/
SVelasquez 0
Well then, uh, there's something called "holding it in," isn't there? Or was the urge that damn powerful?
GoodpointAllen 0
Let me explain this in poetic terms; I was at my wedding, Anxiously awaiting my bedding, When started the garter, My evil urge, to it I could not barter, And a great wind I had to send, From my accursed, ever-begging bend, This urge, I could not escape, Heed me now; next time, I will use tape! >;)
MADISAYSYDI 0
Aww fourth of july wedding and haha, this is so hilarious!
Colby_Colbert 0
i bet when the fart mixed w/your pussy stench it made it 10 x's worse you disgusting pig
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
wow... aren't you classy
lastminuteperm 0
Don't be so hard on yourself. At least you have a good story to tell. :) The bad memories make the best ones. :) :) :)
greeneye_fml 12
FYL and FHL. That sucks. And its a safe bet it was caught on film since the garter dance is one of the best parts to film during a wedding. I'll keep an eye out for this vid on youtube or AFV.
missmarley93 1
omg hahahahahahahaa thats so funnyy!!!!! that totally sucks. fyl and your husbands life lmao but at least yall got married! be happy! :))