Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
pugler 0
This is the best fml I have ever read! If it were me I probably would have laughed uncontrollably in front of everyone.
mfpeanuthead 0
You are a disgusting monster that doesn't deserve a husband.
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
dude... it's just a fart.... if a guy can't handle a fart then they definitely wont be able to handle a marriage. so good luck finding that significant other that is oh so perfect!... and by that i really mean have fun being alone for the rest of your life
pingu_fml 0
# 133, you're an idiot. don't act like your farts don't stink. and she doesn't derserve to be married/happy because...?
BreezyPear 0
Anything that involves a) farts, and b) weddings, is bound to be the best FML ever!! Lmao and right when you were supposed to do the garter thing haha! This one is definately my favorite so far.
lovely_complex 0
Omg, that would totally suck.
RespondomaticMan 0
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Pure comedic genius!
CynicComedian 2
That's funny as hell! Holy shit, you guys are off to a great start! (no joke, things like this help a couple stay loose and happy...you always need stories to tell at parties...)
funk49 0
Dutch Oven! That rawks! Best FML ever.
taylipn 0
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
cLaAaNdEsTiNe 0
BWAHAHAHA OMG i laughed so hard reading this!!! bummer for you, but still insanely hilarious!