Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
Kizatt 0
That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read
dandymidori 0
This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?
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Comments (195)
Insert_Wit_Here 0
10 points simply for the use of the term "Dutch Oven". This is win.
missjazzy_love 0
Wow...just wow. That is so freaken funny! Gross...but funny. Hey, when you got to you got to. "Better out than in I always say."
Ughsucks 0
I'm pretty sure it could have waited... she's probably just terribly low class though.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Is it windy up there on your high horse? Don't fall, then you could suffer egonisim failism.
aback 5
I don't think she's low-class! Everybody farts. Except maybe for you, you just express your flatulence via language.
Ughsucks 0
Cute. It does not, however, change the fact that farting at your wedding is the real fail here. Holding it in is completely possible. Many normal people simply fart at appropriate times/in the bathroom. If the line "I had an urge to fart" doesn't strike you as low class, I feel bad for your future relationships involving walmart cashiers and/or fry cooks.
dinosaursmoo 0
Just because you fart doesnt mean you are going to marry a fryer. Dumbass.
CyclonePsycho 1
Holding a fart in just makes it louder when it does eventually come out. Farting at your wedding isn't something you want to think about, but it happens. And, btw, what makes you thing you're so high class? Hm, I hope your neck doesn't snap from carrying that huge ego.
myuselestwocents 0
leave ughsucks alone, clearly ughsucks is suffering from having too much gas, resulting in incredible assholery... not their fault.. they don't release gas when necessary
BrandNewKadillak 0
I'm a Wal-Mart cashier, and I'm very classy.
kirby229 0
ohhhshizz your comment is epic win :) ughsucks flatulence is a part of being human. Some of us do it in different ways, but we all do it at least once a day. and guess what? the walmart cashiers and friers are people too. dont act like you're better than them and more classy just because your job pays better.
apertured 0
hahahaha, nice
fretforyerlatte 0
everybody farts, yeah. the phrasing of this fml, however, seems to indicate that she just went ahead and farted, as opposed to trying to hold it in and one slipped by. obviously this was not a good time to just "let one rip", she knew her husband was headed down there. there's a time and place for farts, and this really wasn't it....but if she DID try and it happened anyway, that's another story. sometimes you really can't hold them in. HILARIOUS fml though!!
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
LOL! you tell 'em #52
xNephilim 19
Are you kidding me? I agree that she could've held it in, but that still doesn't make her 'low-class'. In my definition, someone is low-class when they're idiots aka you.
soccerboy101 0
Haha did he have fun down there?
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
lol, she would be the one having the fun =P
xxyahqirlmelloxx 0
haha he must have smelled like shit the whole day...hey look on the bright side at least u got married lol congrats!!!!!!
sharkshaveteeth 0
I would say it is more F his Life for having to smell it, but that would definetly be embarrassing for both parties involved!
IHaveVertigo 0
You deserve that, the garter dance is soooo tacky.
Inked2009 0
Ahahahahaha that's a fantastic way of showing your love!
jdawg777 0
Women dont fart! Just like they dont shit!
Vitamin_C 0
LOL! That's my worst fear ever, and you just made it happen!! Absolutely hilarious.. Poor bastard
toastygoat 0
Wow. XD I think this will become one of the top FML's. Definitely one of my favourites.