Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
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Top comments
Terezi 0
Maybe she sent it to the wrong person by accident.
HahaHokayThen 10
calm down. maybe she was drunk. haha
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Comments (201)
stevenmx86 8
She was probably drunk anyway... Besides if she's hot your husband would probably fully support the other option...
boopityboppity 11
It's easy. Just say, "No." She can't fire you for something like this. If she does, you can legally bludgeon her in court.
LemonStarship 5
Yeah the obvious answer is a simple no.
cuddlekitty66 0
Drunk or wrong number. Unless you just left out if she said '*your name*, I want you bad'. if it was just 'i want you bad' most likely wrong number. In either case, I agree with others when they say she was probably drunk, and therefore this was a very unbusiness like move, and I hope she realizes what she's done and apologizes. Knowing people now a days though, she most likely won't.
Devin91 20
thats hot I say yu smash her hard .
jessicaaababy 8
you're sexy ;]
megamandude455 10
okay, dump your husband and be with her. ;)
maryjaneslover7 0
I fail to see the fml let her eat you out everybody wins I'm sure your husband won't mind unless he's like some kinda queer
Narchico 0
why the ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, **** isn't my phone letting me comment?!??!!?! I have only been able to comment twice... Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccckkkk!
jose1760 1
Just click your red heels 3 times and say there is no place like home!!
gabbiechaoss 5
I'm sure your husband wont mind if he's in on it.
aliceharper 0
somebody probably stole her phone :p