Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
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Top comments
Terezi 0
Maybe she sent it to the wrong person by accident.
HahaHokayThen 10
calm down. maybe she was drunk. haha
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Comments (201)
rsjj2010 0
hey all you little kiddies talking about this woman doing it to her boss need to back off. Did it ever occur to you she has moral, religeos or other reasons NOT to do that. Plus, all you kids saying her boss was drunk explain why her boss fired her?
cufaoil 11
from the FML, "and not get fired in the process" OP is concerned that turning down her boss will get her fired, not that she has been already
boopityboppity 11
What's a religeos?
Flutist 3
I looked on your profile Rj and you are from Dallas, so you should know how to spell. This is how your comment should have looked. "Hey, all you little kiddies need to back off talking about how Op should do her boss. Did it ever occur to you she has morals, religious or other wise, and would NOT do that? All you people saying her boss was drunk, explain why her boss fired her?" On that note, you are retarded and do not know how to read. Op is WORRIED her boss WILL fire her, not that her boss wanted some ass and the Op failed to deliver and so got the can.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Flutist, I've seen you rewrite several comments due to poor grammar and/or spelling. Yet every one of your rewrites still has several errors, or just poor form. Please stop doing this unless you're going to do it correctly. Thanks.
mexipunker 0
Giggity.
Midget9 0
She was drunk when she sent it
Nadinek98 0
been there done that.... Ur fired
Zebidee 9
Nah, there's still time for a few 'Hurr - lezzbeen 3sum' comments before lights-out.
voveraite 7
All people with wet dreams: 1. How would you feel doing such things with a gender you're NOT attracted to? 2. Who says the boss is even remotely attractive enough for an affair? My vote goes too w/ drunk and/or wrong number.
nycy 0
Why are they a homophobe? Because they'd be pissed if they turned Their wife away from dick on onto ******? I pissed to at my piss poor performance. Nowhere in the comment was there hate against homosexuals.
boopityboppity 11
*Twitches* "They" isn't a singular pronoun.
nycy 0
Well I apologize, t'was the I was taught.
Flutist 3
*Twitches* Your sentence structure is horrible. You forget words. "Why are they homophobic? Just because they'd be pissed if their wife was turned away from dick onto ******? I'd be pissed at my piss poor performance. Nowhere in the comment was their hate against homosexuals." This is how your comment should have looked.
tbonea1990 0
just go with it ur husband might like it
ilikecatsanddogs 0
oh just tell her kindly that you are married:) oh that she's on crack(: jk.
doworkkids 0
threesome