Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
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Top comments
Terezi 0
Maybe she sent it to the wrong person by accident.
HahaHokayThen 10
calm down. maybe she was drunk. haha
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Comments (201)
roxy999_fml 0
i agree with #91
karishmo 2
just tell ur husband and say "u wanna threesome"
kemando 22
why turn her down? you can have an interesting experience and possibly advance in your career.
restythestar 0
Ouch that sucks. no pun intended..
snafu63 0
you're an idiot. she can't fire you for turning down her advances, that would be sexual harassment or something.
lobster64 0
jst f*** her already
xgetxbentx 13
just act like you never got the text.
WickedPixie 0
If her text is for real (you are sure it wasn't a wrong number), then the solution is clear. Maybe not easy, but doable. Mention it to your husband. He'll be excited for a threesome, more likely than not. Give it a try, you might have fun. (Remember, the same gender knows what feels good.) If that's not an option for you (girl-girl relations make you uncomfortable, you don't find her attractive or your husband *doesn't* want it) then there's plan B, which is to gently let her down. Make sure you make it clear she knows you are happily married and in a heterosexual marriage for a reason. If she fires you for it, you can sue her for sexual harassment and unjust termination... that text message will be proof enough that she fired you for that reason. Just make sure you say something to her about it in an e-mail or text so you have evidence of your refusal. Hope it works out for you! ;3
aarontheawesome 0
YDI for being such a hottie? >.>
THERIAULT 0
why didnt you just eat her a couple times? make her happy, she will promote you! anyway your bf will cheat on you one day... make a 3'sum ! damn its like a fairy tale!
KitKat39 0
dude...she is MARRIED...maybe she actually has some morals unlike half of society today..there was someone on here who's gf dumped him bc he was adopted..she didn't want someone who didn't have "real" parents..so with most of the bf/gf FML's on here..I am losing faith in humanity..and people's comments like your's makes me die inside..it makes me think I'm surrounded by fricken morons who just don't care about anyone but themselves anymore..and that makes me sad
musicismylife21 5
ditto