Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
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Top comments
Terezi 0
Maybe she sent it to the wrong person by accident.
HahaHokayThen 10
calm down. maybe she was drunk. haha
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Comments (201)
ctlnaaia71 8
ok this to me is sexual harrasment. talk to hr about this and get her ass fired. I bet it has to be very uncomfortable to go to work and see her stupid face knowing she's horny for you! ewwwwwwww
awesomewhitekid 0
sounds a lot like a twix commercial...
sexytaco124 0
just act like u didn't get it. an if she brings it up say your phone isn't accepting texts cuz your late on your bill.
bluefairy_fml 24
#144, USA is not the entire world. In many countries (most, if not all, European countries), you don't have to pay for receiving texts/phone calls. You only pay for sending them. So your logic is wrong, since OP doesn't live in the US.
GigEm10 2
just eat a little muff it's worth keeping your job! hey maybe your husband will join in.
charlcielove 0
it's called a sexual harassment case. file one and she'll be the one fired, not you
russianspy1234 11
Boy it sure would be nice if you had some evidence on the off chance she did fire you for rejecting her..
BabesYourAStar 0
kinky :|
PWNjaban 0
Ignore it. Assume it was a drunk text sent to the wrong person. Sometimes denial is the best option.
SuperGrinder86 0
Bring that beotch home to papa!!'
ViggoTW 0
you don't think that message maybe was meant for someone else?