Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
capnbzarr 43
WTF is wrong with people? How could you click "YDI" for this? I suspect misogyny is the answer.
beeship321 5
sucks to be you op. Good luck with that one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. you been banging my husband? I go beserk on you!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
acisking 1
FIRST!!!
mz_booty 0
don't worry maybe she had u mixed up!! lol
hedgerow 0
Haven't had sex in months? Maybe the boss can 'dkscipline' you...
aquariusangel420 0
well some people aren't lucky enough to be a **** or a man ***** like you
KiddNYC1O 22
First!
CryMoreFMLs 15
Second first! Wait.... what?
LunaNstars 0
:( FYL
khaya 9
It was all a setup for your boss to 'discipline' you.
ubetrwatchBN 5
Aww, it's ok OP, I'll give you some lovin'. *Sees OP* Holy shit, nevermind!
PDeffinP 0
WTF did you do to make her suspect that? Or is she just a complete idiot? Hopefully you don't get a spanking :(
gutzz 0
I think op would love a spanking right now.... it has been months afterall.
raven02 0
now it's time to do wat u do best f*** ur boss or give him head maybe he will give differed judification 4 this kinda a crime.FYL
beeship321 5
sucks to be you op. Good luck with that one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. you been banging my husband? I go beserk on you!
notsocrazee 0
roses are dead violence is due don't touch my husband or I'll run you through...
Krilleee 5
lol!! :D
Crazyjoe33 6
#19 Win!
EvilPotato 15
19 is pure genius
marissabunge23 0
haha damn!
KUSHaholic 0
19 you a beast ! hahaha
Death_From_Above 0
I bet you love you job
capnbzarr 43
WTF is wrong with people? How could you click "YDI" for this? I suspect misogyny is the answer.
SirEBC 7
If by "misogyny" you mean "trolling," then yes, you are correct.
ckyorelse 18
it's simple really, I hit the button with my finger
just_lol 0
Epic W... naaah Epic fail ckyorelse...
Suchagoonnn 4
theres always gonna be people who do that type of stuff on the internet, no matter what the situation.
savs11 13
Just because someone hasn't had sex in awhile doesn't mean she's not a flirt. The wife would have some reason to accuse her, unless she's some paranoid psycho. It's also possible people are trolling when clicking ydi. :D
Hoopscapades 0
well I bet the rest of your work day was super after that -_-
jess6blondie9 3
Prank call.
parkg1996 0
it was me XD
PassTheDutch 0
o man you haven't had sex in months. that sucks. FYL
dathotginge 0
I cud fix that and get those months of abstinence to go away ;)
TheWorldGreatest 8
I guess we should cry for you, please find something else to complain about your starting to sound like a dumb ass
pksparrow53 0
stfu hoe
richard121212 0
it's FML dumbfuck. don't complain about people who are SUPPOSED to complain. that's why its called **** My Life bitch.
TheWorldGreatest 8
so very nice
Flipflops4ever 0
Her husband is ur coworker & u don't know him?
manzanita2121 6
he might be new???
Southerndatageek 2
might be a big company