Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, my co-worker thought it would be funny to tell her husband that she cheated on him with me. I'm scared to death and I don't dare to go out by myself. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
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Top comments
kkmwong 11
People really like threatening others these days. Call the police if it becomes violent.
ocramavaf 15
well **** a duck, that's awkward, I say track him down and explain he's got the wrong guy before it snowballs into a bigger issue
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Comments (71)
Josephp86 11
Damn, that must've sucked so much.
Jaevwyn 17
Gotta love those creative first comments -.-
ekat12 6
I know, they're truly enlightening
kkmwong 11
People really like threatening others these days. Call the police if it becomes violent.
wlddog 14
Call the police huh?? Think the guy that is kicking your ass will simply stand by while you make a quick phone call to 911? If your only source of self defense is the police, then the best you can hope for is the cops showing up to take pictures of you all black and blue.
kkmwong 11
Obviously you can fight back and argue self-defense, but I think you should notify law enforcement if someone was uttering threats and assaulting you.
wlddog 14
If you don't know who did it, the cops can not help you. There is no reason to call the cops before anything happens,,,, When it happens, you can not stop what is going on to call the police,,,, and when it is over the person is gone.... When exactly does calling the cops help? Unless you are extremely lucky and an officer stumbles across what is going on, the only thing they will ever do for you is paperwork for the insurance company. And this is coming from an ex-cop.
nissa0909 16
Time to hide weapons all over the office like Dwight does in 'The Office' !!
stevothedevo 25
I think that might enrage him more.
wlddog 14
Cant be mad if your beat senseless.
kkmwong 11
I'm not sure what you're suggesting the person do... Attack back? Clearly even less is going to be achieved if they aren't as strong. But if thats you're attitude from the perspective on an ex-cop, I can see why law enforcement may sometimes be ineffective.
CrookedCook 14
@72, my god man, how long were you boiling that water? because that BURN was fatal!
brandoneyez1 25
I would have told him he had the wrong guy...he needs to get the facts straight. Unfortunately his wife led him to believe it was you. How else did he think it was you.
challan 19
I think its his father in law!
jamalamadingdong 18
Maybe his wife is leading a double life and actually is married to the other guy, so he really is sleeping with that guys wife and yet not cheating on his own! *brain hurts*
ocramavaf 15
well **** a duck, that's awkward, I say track him down and explain he's got the wrong guy before it snowballs into a bigger issue
RedPillSucks 33
I think the ducks husband is who threatened him. ******* a duck is what got him in the situation he's in now.
Jharrist89 12
That's more like a "wtf"
wildfiresgirl 7
Makes me wonder what your family reunions are like! 0.0
mario2012 18
Are you sure you read the same FML I did?
Vidrill 22
You should have called the police right away. You never know what a jealous, heart-broken person is capable of and no one has the right to threaten you like this. And maybe talk to your wife so she doesn't hear it from her father first and think you are hiding something?
israelnotjacob 20
Yeah he should call the police and inform both his wife and father-in-law (if he doesn't already know) immediately. If someone really is sleeping with that guy's wife I can't entirely blame his rage, but for one it was not smart to throw out a death threat in public, and his beef should really be with his wife. Yeah the home-wrecker is a douche no doubt, but the wife could have said no.
Nikkitaria 9
He should be more preoccupied with his wife instead of running around town, trying to find the man who slept with her.
Stefanie88 24
Yes! Why go around blaming the person who isn't even at fault? The wife is the only one responsible for cheating on her husband... going around threatening guys won't help that.
Inciter 33
Well, he might blame both parties, but would prefer to threaten the other guy instead of his wife. That sucks, OP. I hope you're able to explain the situation to your wife. If she trusts you, it should be fine.
bReLiNg 18
When you need a moment, grab a twix.
adam3650 12
Have a break, have a KitKat.
Pstraka6 20
I never understood why people assume oe jump to conclusions. You should tell Van Dyke not to kool his jets and not pop a blood vessel because you have nothing to do with it and that next time he should be so careful as to yell at random people! And cheer up it's Friday!