Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
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Top comments
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Hey, does everyone forget pubic hair is perfectly natural? If you think it's "gross", you're probably not old enough to touch a ******. Everyone has personal preferences but it's amazing how many people seem to think that it's some unspoken rule for chicks to shave EVERYWHERE.
humorizer 14
My dog would beg to differ.
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Comments (199)
laurenzo16 0
That hot...not
MrHomerSimpson 11
Mmmmm... gum.
tylersign 11
Well, if you shaved, then his clever tactic worked.
DrIDGAF 7
Stick a wad of gum in his penis hole
margie2194 12
Haha I lawled when I found out this FML was posted from France. We all know how french people are with their body hair...
margie2194 12
Well this FML was posted from France. We all know the reputation of French people and body hair... Not very good. Lol.
krazy_glu3 0
Why couldn't he just suggest it up front? 'hey babe... It's ******* out of control down there. Please shave cousin It off'.
murlocholmes 5
Dear 23.... That's not what the urethra is for. Also, you're sick... From- Men everywhere
DrIDGAF 7
Dear 34, Gum up the penis hole actually makes the penis grow! I swear, I just saw an infomercial talking all about it. Sincerely, DrIDGAF
hombrepollo 0
U may say it's not hot but Patrick looks pretty into it
Marcella1016 32
Why do they close comments on some FMLs? They closed comments on the FEMA one a couple hours ago and I remember them closing comments really recently on an evolution FML. Censorship? O_O And if so what the hell are they censoring, trolling??
abc123cimsmart 3
That's a sticky situation!
copy125 0
I'm surprised that he still went down on you, cause no one likes the feeling of a bush.
NavySEAL13 0
Come on guys my Allis is Adolfo. Adolfo Oliver Bush
enonymous 9
Bear Grylls with a machete made out of his own tibia wouldn't dare trek thru that let alone go down on you.
ikickgingers 15
Runway
SW500 13
I've accidentally done that to myself. It didn't hurt to take off, but it was awkward...
mellasaurusrex 5
Nastyyyy...I'd never have my boyfriend go down on me unless I'm freshly shaved..
Mrmeatfold 2
Shave your shit!!! Fricking Chewbacca over here...
iluvhobos 5
SHAVE. It's not that hard or time consuming.
Incredibly_Dope 0
Shave you hippie!
2ndSucks 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well nobody likes to lick carpet.
GuitarFail123 9
how would u no??? jk haha ur right!!:D
DrIDGAF 7
Carpet=pubes? So that's their secret...
humorizer 14
My dog would beg to differ.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Shagadelic baby YAH!
sk1ml1fe 0
Bad mental pic
SilentTreatment 7
Well said!.... Mustache rides aren't free.
polocity 0
Hey....u ain't lyin
swimchica22 0
81- kinda Like your profile pic...
iloveparc 0
hahhahHa
nightslayer 6
Well at least he was trying to be nice about it
JTHolloway200 0
Hahaha that's a great idea
queenb1621 21
um how is that nice?
1215116a 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Then shave lady! -_-
ohrlynao 0
Nippah~ :3
Cookiee04 15
she shouldn't have to shave just because he wants her to. It's her body. And most guys don't shave so how can they expect a girl to shave?
treewolf 5
@345 she'll shave if it means she'll get head and won't turn her bf off. Stop trying to turn this into "its her body, dont tell her what to do" bullshit.
awesomesaucem 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
no one wants carpet burn on their tongue. be kind and shave your muff.
YdoIhaveAchode 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hairy Vuh Jay Jay is a no no.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Shitty comments are a no no.
allie2015 3
You suck
YdoIhaveAchode 4
You mad?
jawaqueen 1
Just shave, it's not that big of a deal
jhashj 0
... Unless you have sensitive skin and relentless hair. It'll be silky smooth for a day, then cactus like prickly, and then red, bumpy, and itchy... Yay for ingrown hairs! Making ever lick still not worth it
tashhshere 0
Trueeee
Babydoll4ever 7
126- you can put a no scent deoderant down there and it'll help get rid of the ingrown hairs and red irritation.:)
xxxNataliexxx 0
...that's hawt
iDaniel525 8
#swaggggg
BellaBelle_fml 23
No it's nawt.
boredblonde 17
That embarrassment could have been avoided.....if you had shaved.
Cereal_Is_Good 5
Obviously. The FML is here because OP didn't shave. Don't comment just for the sake of commenting.
Garyy_fml 11
I think that the FML here is that OP has such an inconsiderate boyfriend that he cares about that her ****** looks like a tumbleweed. What matters mist is what's inside! Aw what am I kidding I hate hairy vaginas.
boredblonde 17
Shut up and go eat cereal
Cereal_Is_Good 5
Don't say stupid things in your comments and I won't correct you.
boredblonde 17
Don't attempt to be smart and I won't sass you.
nigrice 0
It's not attempting to be smart when everyone around you naturally is just.. Smarter..
Troy_K 7
Don't comment for the sake of commenting? So what are we doing here? Are we actually saying stuff that we think will be meaningful to the person who wrote the FML? Nope. So nice try on "correcting" someone on this site. Damn. I bet you're proud.
jowho 0
64- thank you. Ur comment was hilarious. I think ppl forget this is a funny site. God ppl amuse me.
Petunia888 13
Why did people thumb this down? She's right.
anannymus 0
I agree
Dontstealmyname 11
#28 Your profile pic and description had me laughing for good! Haha!
Cereal_Is_Good 5
64- It's obvious why the FML is on here: OP didn't shave. So why do people think that stating the obvious is in any way a good comment? It's like people who talk constantly just to hear the sound of their voice; it's obnoxious and unnecessary.
iloveparc 0
damn guys less all stfu, blondie is 100% right
boredblonde 17
Thank you #252!
cheeturtle 0
247-Well if you can't stand when people post comments like that, don't even read comments. Don't expect everyone to "follow your rules". This site is ment for laughter and silliness, not for strictness and demanding people. Just relax and have a laugh and move on with your day.
Kylebobertorosz 0
why cant we all just be friends?
dominguez89 6
Do u shave?
ambowew 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's this amazing new invention, it's called a razor. Use it. Your poor boyfriend, I'm surprised he actually goes down on you when you can't even clean up the area for him beforehand. Bloody neanderthal.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Hey, does everyone forget pubic hair is perfectly natural? If you think it's "gross", you're probably not old enough to touch a ******. Everyone has personal preferences but it's amazing how many people seem to think that it's some unspoken rule for chicks to shave EVERYWHERE.
humorizer 14
They don't have to shave EVERYWHERE... just in places that aren't their scalps is all we ask for. ;)
Enslaved 38
49, I agree with you about preference(: but Ex: I've seen guys with nose hairs sticking inches out of their nostrils and I find that gross since it's unkept even though it's natural. I feel the same way about freakish long finger nails. It doesn't need to be shaved.... just maintained. And my guy shaves/trims, also for me.(: to each their own.
a_nutritionist 10
hey so long as you can live with your partner never going down there because you choose to enforce your "but its natural" policy then fine. its your body and you have a right to keep it as you wish. but yeah, "its natural" is really no longer an acceptable excuse for anything. otherwise we should just stop fighting cancer cos, "its natural".
crossmaltese 3
105. You are my hero now.
Petunia888 13
If you're gonna use the "it's natural" bs excuse, then ladies: stop shaving your legs. Any takers? No? Didn't think so. I don't blame OP's bf for what he did. I wouldn't go down on that shit either. Nobody wants pubic hair stuck in their mouth.
ironwords 8
Body odors natural, deodorant isnt. There is no poutine tree, or perfume river. ******** in the forest is natural.
ReynshineCutting 10
I don't use the "natural" excuse but do people just not realize that shaving can hurt like hell? For some of us it causes so much irritation that walking becomes painful. Then you get 20 ingrown hairs and every guy wants to see 20 red spots on their girl's vag. I stay trimmed but **** shaving. I'm not going to walk around in pain just to please my man, and he's totally fine with how I groom. OP could be trimmed but her boyfriend wants a **** star instead.
melliemoo17 6
Agreed
missbadluk 0
I completely agree. Or let's just stop shaving our armpits cause some fool wants to try and post that it's "unnatural". Um no. Gross. Oh and let's also NEVER wear make up. Or put shit in our hair to make it sit the way we want it to. What a stupid comment. If you want to mention something being natural then why not mention it all? Dumb. GROSS. At least trim your nasty shit down there. Jeez.
NoOneLovesYou 13
Oh wow, you're a smart one, 238. First of all, not all women shave. or wear a ****-ton make-up. or put 34532 pounds of product in their hair. I know, amazing, right? I'm sorry you're insecure or just really ******* ugly, but not all of us are. I promise you that many of us, and our partners, are plenty happy. Guess what? Pubic hair isn't nasty, and plenty of men PREFER some hair, because they want a WOMAN, not a girl. Obviously no one wants a scraggly, infested mop, but you don't need a brazilian to be sexy. Please crawl out from under your rock.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Lawl I didn't think people would get pissy over this. I personally don't give a flying **** where/if people shave, I just think it's stupid that it's considered "gross" if they don't. Shaving legs and armpits for women is a social norm only because people have made it so. Sure, if some women want to not shave their legs cause it's natural, more power to them, it's a pain in the ass. Also.. not every girl cakes their face with makeup and uses an assload of hair product.
sushiya 8
I didn't know there were people retarded enough to believe they're more adult for neglecting to groom themselves
Coeliacchic93 21
I don't shave, I just trim and my boyfriend still loves to go down on me. I would never ask him to shave just as he wouldn't ask me. He likes it natural, I just trim so it doesn't get too much lol