Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
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Top comments
pdp_fml 21
Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.
H_Brazell09 0
Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.
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Comments (231)
supimnyancat 9
At least your pubes smell good.
hellbilly205 17
This is why you shave down there...problem solved.
gamercanadian 11
No but the gum would get stuck on the blade.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
For a good clean feeling, no matter what! Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!
LMA0 5
27- Shave before the entire experience happened not afterward..
theblackishkid1 6
I wouldn't complain, she got far enough down for it to reach his pubes
morgann4826 0
67 - My thoughts exactly
brad4presedent 2
#67..Or he is small down there
ThaKoolKidsKlub 3
Now that's what I call a sticky situation.
WeAreAHurricane 14
Dirty crotch? Clean it up with orbit :D
shanemcunt 10
#67 all guys are sizes... So it may not have been that hard for her. Oh well OP got some
monkeywrench1 10
Maybe this is her way to say: -"It's time to shave!" ;)
inverted_twinkie 6
Take it as a sign that she wants you to shave.
jmelsha11 11
Dirty pubes? Clean them up with orbit.
Angel1000168 16
Why would you let her? You surely noticed she was chewing gum...
danni218 1
mayb he wanted to see if it felt different...like when u go down on him after eating a couple of mints
Pixxio_O 11
Kinky.
Zimmington 21
Orbit, for a good clean bj, no matter what!
doodz_fml 5
Hm, a guy not thinking clearly when offered with sexual pleasure. That's a new one, right? ;)
cameron194 9
Lmao, this just reminds me of the movie sex drive
pdp_fml 21
Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.
jtthegr8 26
I agree, op fault for not shaving
Krista835 5
Maybe she did it on purpose do he would have to shave them to get the gum out haha.
BaconBoy75 2
Some people actually like the smell of a man down there.
emilyjgraham 34
85, while it's true that we are subconsciously attracted to the smell of the opposite sexes sweat (let's face it, none of us openly admit or even realise it) no one likes day or two old sweat, especially down there. one can smell sweaty without having pubes! I think op should shave! or at least trim!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
97- Yea..., pretty sure I'm neither consciously nor subconsciously attracted to the opposite sex's body odor. Especially, down there.
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
146 - It's been scientifically proven, look it up, bruhh
afdude87 6
I agree with 97. If ya expect your girl to shave, return the favor.
picturescrazy 24
Maybe they both don't shave.
usedletterboard 7
I don't want people to have to damage themselves to fit an idea of not being nasty
usedletterboard 7
No one likes when people use blanket statements either.
H_Brazell09 0
Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.
kittenvks 11
You know, maybe my mind is in the gutter on this one but I feel that your pic and comment go perfectly with this FML :)
ScaughtieHolden 11
Da ****? Those are jellyfish...
MikeDa1Da 14
No, they're testicles.
RedPillSucks 33
Jellyfish testicles?
Blueglasscup 18
It was all a ploy for her to not have to blow you!
danni218 1
nah she wanted him to shave and couldn't find a way to tell him
Pebbles89 9
Minty fresh! :)
jerseyboy732 16
*BRITISH ACCENT* dirty mou.. cough cough pubes?
ALlamaOnFire 20
Specify 'British'
isis_morrigan 18
Glad in not the only one who thought about this!
strawberrywine22 30
Blame it on Cosmo...that stupid magazine keeps telling us to do stupid things like that!
Pebbles89 9
I have always been terrified of trying ANYTHING out of Cosmo. Pulled pubes, bruised balls, and "broken" wieners is all I imagine happening, unfortunately.
OneLittleAdditio 9
uh nobody says you have to actually do it. I read cosmo and I do only like a fourth of what it says there.
daemonsparta 16
blame yourself fpr actually listening to cosmo
LunaDragon 10
Doesn't matter, still got some.
ClaremoreZebra 8
This comment just cracked my ass up.
LMA0 5
You mean your ass was flat before? How did you ever take a shit?!
The_Great_Zucchi 15
Chewing gum is the biggest turnoff ever, even without getting it into your pubes...
jisaac09 25
I vote that a "woman" with a penis is more of a turn off. If she and I were getting nasty I think I could tough it out if she was chewing gum. It would be a deal breaker if she had a wang.
wittygirl 8
Are you telling me that bad breath is a turn on?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
WTF? Okay, I'll remember that next for the next time I eat Tuna.
Nick_1993 2
Gum is gross. I agree. It makes your breath smell gross. Just brush your damn teeth and there ya go. No bad smelly mouth. You can't kiss someone with gum in there mouth and nothing is more annoying when they are constantly smacking it.
mralman16 5
No smoking is the biggest turn off