Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he pulled up his pants and said, "There you go." FML
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Top comments
jediloader 12
I hope we get a follow up for this one
fargen 21
so he gummed up your ******?
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Comments (20)
fargen 21
so he gummed up your ******?
Lobby_Bee 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to mow the "lawn". Nothing for gum to stick to if there is no ****** beard.
evilplatypus 39
You’ve never gotten gum stuck to your lips after blowing a bubble? Gum sticks to more than just hair you know.
Lobby_Bee 18
Never needed scissors to cut gum from my lips before.
Sam Brooks 3
True, but if he went for scissors for anything BUT hair....
evilplatypus 39
Yes, op obviously had hair ATM. I’m saying shaving wouldn’t have prevented this situation - she’d either have gum stuck in her hair or stuck straight to the skin. The way to prevent this is her dumbass boyfriend not chewing gum while going down on her.
jediloader 12
I hope we get a follow up for this one
shutupheart 11
Awww! I think you're stuck with him now
manb91uk 22
Maybe you should sit him down and explain that they’re a totally different pair of lips down there...?
OrchidKitten 21
It could be stuck in her pubic hair.
manb91uk 22
Wow... Please don’t have kids.
davecross 11
Time to mow the lawn and then break the thorn
Thundernutz 15
Talk about sticky situation... Sorry OP
s_james67 9
If I've learned anything from The Simpsons, the trick to getting out gum is peanut butter, failing that some mayonnaise should do the trick.
Christina Lynn Sullivan McPeak 11
That's why you need to Shave lol haha ?☺️
piinksock 17
At least he mentioned it. Imagine he just left it for you to find.