Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
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Top comments
OIFMedic 0
wow FYL, shoulda bitch slapped him!!
fml1026 4
umm eww. thats oober disgusting :P
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Comments (150)
OIFMedic 0
wow FYL, shoulda bitch slapped him!!
Frank155 5
Damn right!!
Yee12 0
YDI for having hair
RustyGuns 0
You have boogers in your hair?
Dawkrida 0
umm **** ya
Monikabug 9
@23, no he was disposing of his booger in her hair.
RustyGuns 0
Why didn't he just use her tshirt like everyone else?
srunano 4
Lmfao this was hilarious, not an fml because you could have washed it, but very disgusting either way
tomahawkinyouall 0
why didn't he just wipe it under the coffee table??? I mean---shouldn't he of disposed of it properly with a napkin? good day to you fellow.
bobby3130 0
I'm on a horse
tomahawkinyouall 0
WTF? I'm on a boat. oh and CURSE YOU "Anti-Flood" Protection!!! and damn... curse u again.. I guess I'll just wait... lalala....meow.
Justin714 1
lmao #11
Prototype12 0
I'm riding a horse backwards
Monikabug 9
66 = win. That was perfect. Thanks for the smile!
selan_fml 0
lloooooooovvveee yyyoooouuuuuuu * wipes booger*
Maddoctor 10
Hey Meg? Proud of you. =)
falluke17 0
win^^
ReyEr9412 0
52 WINS and 59 do you know why it says "anti-flood protection"?
beachlova910 0
that's just nasty
Yee12 0
What Is anti flood protection?
PenelopeClearwat 0
haha that's exactly what I first thought(:
MF12 0
it's when you post too many comments at a time and fml thinks you're spamming.
Monikabug 9
It means she was posting too many comments in a short amount of time. In other words, they were trying to stop her from flooding the post with her comments.
lezzyluver 0
lololol bitchslap the bot
Itzmeh 0
BITCH SLAP FOR THE WIN!!! But seriously... smack the shit out of that son of a bitch
lezzyluver 0
itzmeh thanks Girly for the support I want her or him I don't judge to slap the bitch out of that boy and ^^^i ment boy BSFTW
DavidCooksAngel 0
could have been worst, he could have asked you to suck on his fingers
lezzyluver 0
David David David.... it's only worse when you have to suck his boogers out or suck abd eat his shit
tomahawkinyouall 0
ummmm yes I flood with my posts so what fml mods u got a problem??!! huh huh DO YA?!
tomahawkinyouall 0
you sir are, so NOT NICE!!!
Sirin_fml 47
Yes, Tomahawkinyouall... From the comments rules: "Flooding the comments section, like the same user sending 3 or 4 comments one after the other in rapid succession is forbidden." I'd advise you to respect and follow that, as well as the other commenting rules.
tomahawkinyouall 0
who peed in ur cheerios this morning? sheesh... this guy eh?
gomego87 0
I agree with #11 OP should go bald.
bezach 0
well compare me to your man and behold the epic!
Austino713 0
aww im sorry i would never do tht to my gf hes got to show some respect FYL im sorry
twist_of_fame93 0
lol that was m first impression. like wtf
cater2U 0
ydi for dating an immature loser that hasn't learned what tissue is
Angeledice 0
Like most said: I would bitchlap him in a way that all his boogers would end up in his brain. That is just absolutely revolting!!
toelie 26
#131 he might like it if she bitchlaps him xD
Frank155 5
Second
fml1026 4
umm eww. thats oober disgusting :P
brookeelizabeth 0
über! geez people these days!
ScaryyMary 14
I think you mean "uber"...
Vayant 0
Nerdy way of saying it is üßer. lol
gotpromise 0
10 is correct, actually.
ScaryyMary 14
I was referring to #3. I didn't read #10 >.
RustyGuns 0
'oober'. I lol'd.
lolitan 0
that's disgusting!!
afatmonkey 0
Actually, the most disgusting thing I've seen wiped in someone's hair was when I was on the subway. iwas sitting there, minding my own buisness, when a suspicious looking man pulled a half-decayed cat out of a bowling ball bag with a yellow glove. He wiped the cat on this sleeping lady and then tied it into her hair and then poured glue all over it. Unfortunatly, I had to get off at the next stop ad didn't get to see how this finished.
BadPinkKitty07 0
wtf? why? I am very curious....
lezzyluver 0
lol my fuckn ass off aftamonkey u no how to make a women laugh her ass off -peace and love Lezzy
xFuckThisLife 0
4 - I definately agree with you.
manderrzzbabyy 0
ewww wtffff
locklock 0
that's gay
lilsexy1993 0
ewwww! gross.
Icarus_II 0
Ehhh actually OP why is that in your hair? I would have been more convinced if you found a hamster playing a harp.
Icarus_II 0
Ahhh...still.... the hamster with a harp is a great idea.
rockintothebeat 0
it wasn't in her hair, he picked it then wiped it on her.
Odiny147 0
lol #11
anti_average 5
He's definitely a keeper, unlike the booger. ^^
gotpromise 0
I'd marry him.
anti_average 5
Oh yes. Everyone likes a manly man, flingin' snot everywhere. The kind that has hair on his chest!
gotpromise 0
Not only that but he wears his shirt unbuttoned..nummy!
jasoncard33 0
u dumb ass
anti_average 5
^ Typed the person with no points whatsoever, and who was too lazy to type the 'y' and 'u' in the word 'you'. If you're going to insult someone then please attempt to do so constructively. At least state WHY you disagree with this person. Now I'm inclined to believe you're a 14 year old up past their bedtime. =[
brieanna101 0
wow that's so gross, oh thanks honey! I love bogger in my hair, how did you find out?
dorkrockz 0
ewwwwww wat the heck is wrong with him.....is ur bf lke 5 years old or something that he doesn't know where they go.