Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in English class when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said, "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I had to walk across the school with a plunger. FML
Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML
Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
dear god. you should complain.
PurpleFrostingg 7
WTF?
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Comments (251)
azcardinals1307 2
dear god. you should complain.
RedSharpieInk 5
Make a fake hall pass and use that :)
murlocholmes 5
Or even easier, help your peers by taking that book or just hiding it. She can't say it was you because you were absent that day!
FFPulley 9
Now THAT'S a Grammer Nazi!
DrIDGAF 7
Step 1: piss on book Step 2: run away
margie2194 12
That's quite an interesting strategy of forcing kids to learn... Props to your teacher for creativity. I'm really interested as to what her comments would be on "ratemyteachers.com. Lol.
MichellinMan 20
Thats when you piss on her head saying, "memorize that bitch!"
krazy_glu3 0
I'm wondering how many kids actually recited it back to her. I would just have to take a piss. It's only a couple seconds. NOT long enough to memorize anything! Forget that.
mrahhhhh 21
Shit 22, you reminded me... tomorrow is the day that snickerdoodles is allowed to come back on FML! God help us all!
iam_yummylicious 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Complain about what? A teacher being strict and correctly doing her job? Many kids often take restroom breaks to do other things besides using the bathroom.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
1 is totally right. Definitely complain. The whole book as the pass and memorizing it is kinda... weird, but then locking you out of class and such? That's just abusing their power. Talk to the principal.
x3ShanTastic 0
Well at least if you have to take a while in the bathroom you can use the book as an excuse to why you took so long =P
uncleyuggles 0
spend the rest of class in the bathroom, when questioned, say "I was backed up".
copy125 0
Just tell her you have more important matters at hand when your going to the bathroom instead of memorizing pointless sections of a book.
gojira666 7
Thats not legal. Dont memorize it and come back...then see how things work out when she gets in shit for pulling a bunch of bullshit like that
Neopets_dot_com 0
Yeah I'd be like **** that.
arlekin21 0
Spend the whole period outside and whe she asks why you took so long just say you just couldnt put the book down
enonymous 9
Use the page for toilet paper go back and slap the page down on his desk. It will be forever in your mind and his mind forever. I love memorizing things.
Zepset_fml 13
Find the dedication page. They usually only have around 20 words. :D
VorpikeII 17
#47- Complain about the being Locked out of class and being absent. That's completely Illegal.
SadinSherman 16
I don't think the teacher is wanting to make them learn, just to prevent them from going to bathroom or whatever during her class
iam_yummylicious 12
@121- Can you show me the law or laws that state that its illegal for a teacher to make sure a student isn't misusing class time? Or the law or laws that state that teachers are not allowed to remove kids from their class? It would be much appreciated, thanks.
JrTinoco 6
Just one page right? So then memorize the title page. Joking, don't do that. You will probably still get detention.
andieraimundo 0
Ass hole-.- ur like kathy off of "rate my pics" or something like that
kurquizu 3
Or you could do what I do and take out your contact and be all like 'mrs teacher? My contact fell out may I go put it back in please?' and show them the contact. Works every time (;
ramboman19 8
170, you're a ******* idiot. You can usually tell when a student is misusing the hall pass. Normally, it's when they overuse it and/or take a long time. Taking a shit can take a few minutes at most, but memorizing a page can take longer, so basically, the teacher is taking more valuable class time away by making the students memorize a page, rather than just letting them shit and get off the pot. Ugh the nerve of some people. Plus, if you're a dude, how do you piss, read, and memorize at the same time?
doglover100 29
Teacher's psycho
PurpleFrostingg 7
WTF?
smmrgrl 1
welcome to facebook :) that totally sucks OP.. complain?
Bbhd05 0
OP do me a favor. Keep your pimp hand strong :)
StoryOfTheYear 15
25- Lol, I see it.
BellaBelle_fml 23
25- I see what you did there, and. I didn't like it.
rexgar2000 10
I dont get the Facebook thing :(
browniegrl 4
Try not going to the bathroom during that class. That's her real goal.
ambowew 7
So in order to remember the text in the time you have to feign a severe case of constipation. Lovely.
Bbhd05 0
I'm laughing my ass off from your pic.
JTHolloway200 0
Haha sounds like a fun class
nateiztite 5
bust the door in and say you were there?
divadro102 16
Honestly I tried to go, but the man would just not let go. He huffed and he puffed as he fumed out his butt. I tried to break free, but the stench was too much. Please don't make me go back, for he'd like me to touch. It's there in his hands that I saw the little man. The tiniest of creatures that ever reached land. It had just one eye, but two brows underneath. That feeling you get when you just ******* queefed. I'm sorry for cussing, but it happened so quick, one look at his eye and I knew it was sick. I tried to fix it, but it just wouldn't bend, so i kept tugging at it till the seams hit the end. You now may be thinking how disgusting I am, but please let me tell you, it was the book in my hand.
VorpikeII 17
Holy shit. Finest display of poetry ever to be written on the toilet. Your are a god man.
josebeto1 6
Get to memorizing, makes ******** fun
Poopolicious 5
The quicker and more efficient way, pee in your pants ;)
Sielune 8
What if you just want a drink?
minisquid 9
Then you summarize a chapter of "The Stand". Good book, terrible to summarize >_
xxxNataliexxx 0
Wtf? that's gotta suck
boredblonde 17
Redonkulous
GuitarFail123 9
U should try to get fake abs... like the guy in mh pic
aliadnan708 6
Honey it's ridiculous :)
boredblonde 17
Honey, it's called a sense of humor :)
uffiewuffie 0
Honey, it's called being a blonde
GrammaticalNazi 2
I'm not even trolling here: how is that a joke? Where is the reference that I'm missing?
boredblonde 17
Honey, blonde is the best color to be ;) ...and the "joke" is from shrek...a character said "redonkulous" so instead of "ridiculous" I said "redonkulous"... not a big deal...
boredblonde 17
and even if you were trolling,.. you aren't supposed to mention that you are in fact "trolling" because then that just cancels it out...
RabbitPressure1 6
Why the **** are you people hating on her? You must be extremely old, because lots of people say this.
holewski 0
oh good. a shrek quote!
MichellinMan 20
YOU COPIED MY LOCATION YOU DUMB BIMBO!
boredblonde 17
1. No just no 2. Yeah I totally just copied YOU 3. You don't know me so therefore you are in no position to call me dumb, let alone bimbo 4. Gtfo my comment.
MissBBGoodGirl 0
This made me laugh, because my sister says it all the time! I didn't realize it was from shrek- I had always wondered!
boredblonde 17
Now you know!
MichellinMan 20
Have you heard of sarcasm, bitch? I thought your comment was FUNNY, therefore I viewed your profile. (go ahead and call me a stalker) I know you didn't copy me. Once again it was sarcasm. So **** you, and I can do whatever the hell I want.
camera123 0
I hate people like you.
boredblonde 17
#194- hmmm...well I'm "SORRY" that someone spewing insults in all capital letters is a hard to decipher as a joke. #196-...nobody really cares, now do they?
MrFluffu 2
Penis!
MichellinMan 20
In the future, I suggest you don't instantly come to conclusions that every comment is a very serious insult. And I'm pretty sure 196 was talking about me. 196- I don't give a shit.
MichellinMan 20
203- penis: The male genital organ of higher vertebrates, carrying the duct for the transfer of sperm during copulation. In humans and most other mammals, it consists largely of erectile tissue and serves also for the elimination of urine.
kitkat789 2
I like that word....redinkulous hehe funny
GuitarFail123 9
wow srry op, u gotta gay tescher...