Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.
Lalala579121 28
...How?
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Comments (22)
Druu 53
Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.
Lalala579121 28
...How?
Rainbow_Rhinos 23
Own it. "Wow, sir. This must be where your daughter gets her...wait."
jpd01 5
Excellent, hope you have a firm grip.
mrjiggles1992 18
Assert your dominance. She's not gonna mess with you now.
onceuponatime456 16
Ya right!
Talented73 54
Get a grip!
Talented73 54
Nuts!
Glowworm56 27
"Whoops! Wrong hand!"
mt21mt 15
As this guy was eight in front of you, couldn't you judge the distance of halfway, where a handshake usually meets? Didn't it feel weird, when at the halfway point for a handshake there was no hand? So I guess you just kept reaching? Instead of the correct assumption that you missed his hand, you assumed that he must me holding his hand against his body, for the weirdest handshake ever? So, because you couldn't judge either the distance, or you forgot how long your hands are, you just kept reaching, farther and farther, and lower and lower, and oooooopps my hand is on your dick.