Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to work during Black Friday, after not being invited to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. FML
Today, Thanksgiving Day and I have no family to spend with, all my friends are busy or out of town, and the only person actively talking to me is a random guy on Bumble. FML
Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm stuck at my minimum wage job, listening to people who make twice as much as me complain that, "they only get the week off for Thanksgiving." FML
Today, I’m going to have two Thanksgivings. One at my parents' for the first half of the day, then the other at my house. I let my boyfriend know beforehand about it, as well as my sister. She then told my mom about my plan and next thing I know, I got a phone call from mom that turned into her yelling at me for not staying all day. FML
Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML
Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML
Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
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Top comments
dramaelf 37
I honestly saw a guy named Mickey Mouse in my local phonebook. You could have it a lot worse.
vcapelo 19
Don't chicken out and remove your number!
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Comments (87)
unlucky_04 10
Do they say "Pun intended"?
Arrow44 10
No they say "May I stuff you for Thanksgiving...." them the next 3 minutes is heavy breathing and the faint sound of someone scratching their belly.
unlucky_04 10
^Fail
vcapelo 19
Don't chicken out and remove your number!
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Just respond with your best turkey impression instead
letmehavemytea 21
Make gobbling noises until they hang up out of fear. This year the turkeys will win.
RoboCunnilingus 23
OP, don't listen to these guys or they'll ask to baste you next.
aimeegoldberg 22
"Yes, hi, I'd like to order you stuffed, please?"
oj101 33
OP should tell them to go stuff themselves.
8313girl 28
You poor soul. Does this happen to you every year? Yeah you gotta jump on getting your name out of the phone book before someone else calls and asks if they can inject you with their flavor.
Aleys_fml 21
OP said she's in the phone book "for business purposes" removing her name and number would probably hurt her business.
dramaelf 37
I honestly saw a guy named Mickey Mouse in my local phonebook. You could have it a lot worse.
mattynick 11
He probably changed that himself though.
Nohman 14
Some parents are just cruel. Especially celebrity parents.
mkymouse90 17
Hey don't be jealous!
Missyeru 14
My next door neighbors are Betty and Charlie Brown. Peanut jokes for days
duma191 21
i knew a guy named Charlie Brown.
rocker_chick105 31
There is a kid at the local city school near me. His name is pronounced "sha-theed." It's spelled ********... sometimes parents are bastards.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
I can imagine how a sub would pronounce his name.
TCRII 30
When I was a teen, there was an OB/GYN in my town named Dr. Harry Beaver.
Freethaawave 19
There was a kid from my high school named Ka-Ching it was pretty hilarious, not sure if thats how he spelled it, though.
SJParker 13
@56- probably with a lot of $'s.
AngelSpit 18
I went to high school with a girl named Cherry Pitts and a guy named Chip Mounke
phatdaddy62 23
Giggidy!
AlaskanG 27
You look like you'd be one of the guys calling her.
phatdaddy62 23
And you look like a Smurf.
AlaskanG 27
Yeah, that made no sense to me...
phatdaddy62 23
And I am an idiot.
WellImScrewed124 6
You are a dickwad 82
phatdaddy62 23
AlaskanG calls me a pervert and I'm a dickwad. Yea. That's a logical conclusion.
WellImScrewed124 6
Wow that sucks. But always nice to have a laugh.
DenBriZel 31
I apologize for laughing at your pain.
Sandsh8rk 36
Accept the offer. You might be going places my friend ;)
wisericky 12
Like the dinner table.
Akay4 14
The both of your pictures fit together perfectly.
vipirius 18
Yeah and I'm Turkish, so I know how you feel OP.
Rainhawk94 27
Not really
lysx84 24
Loving OP's name... please tell us!?
jojimugo 20
Mulva .... Anyone?