Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML
Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML
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Top comments
GSP101 0
Put (fake) blood on your self and say you killed your evil twin.
rubyjames 3
Go two houses ahead of him? No, I see the obvious solution here: you're going to have to murder your neighbor.
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Comments (91)
alpaquette91 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you are posting about that on this site, you either shouldn't be on this site or shouldn't be trick or treating.
FeedMonkeyking 4
Trick or treating never gets old. Free stuff becomes an even better offer when you're in college.
Iffyy 6
Run ahead of him. Then he'll be the one being denied candy.
Bobissmall 13
I know Halloween is a largely American thing, but in the UK it really is just for kids... if teenagers or up go trick or treating then they will usually be told they are too old or the door not be answered. Seriously, why do adults deserve free stuff? I'd rather give it to people who beg on the streets, not my front door.
Ins0mau 20
I wasn't aware there was an age limit for this site...
Gargoyle123 2
I know I'm gonna get mod-ed but everyone knows what I'm thinking the mods suck once its out their leave it, that's no way to treat your loyal fmlers, and that one was a good one.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Lol i agree #27 had a vaild point!
ImaginaryFoe 1
The age limit for the site is on the website. I think it's 16 but I don't really remember. Trick or treating is most definitely for children. Legal working age where I live is 15. Get a job and buy your own damn candy coz if yoy knock on my door, you're going away empty-handed.
Lubpynk 0
Thats what I was thinking. And of course there should be an age limit here. I wouldn't want my kids who are of trick or treating age to be reading some of the stuff on here!!
alpaquette91 9
I get thumbs down, but everyone else that agrees gets thumbs up? I'm a little confused here and I'm not just talking about replies on my comment. Everyone else who commented too..
Lubpynk 0
don't get the thumbs down either!!!! maybe bc they didn't write it first.
schrodingersdog 4
You can go trick or treating when you're older. The trick is to offer to take someone's kid trick or treating for them, and some of the houses might think it's cute and give you candy too.
Bobissmall 13
I really hate the FML thumbing up/down system. How about some etiquette? Thumb down comments that are useless, not ones that don't match your opinion.
Jammy01jams 2
You know what I agree that Halloween does seem childish. But I don't care, last night I had fun, we had laughs I dressed up like a schoolgirl because I'm ****** and 2 girls and us 4 guys trick or treated for about 45 minutes we hung out and talked a laughed for another 3. I will remember last night for my entire life. The women who told me I was too old can go **** herself. And I loved seeing all the kids having fun and keeping the pointless yet great holiday alive!
Victoire_W 0
It's for 13 and up. 13 is old enought to still trick or treat.
Victoire_W 0
One guy that trick or treated at my flat was dress as Dorothy from the wizard of oz an he was about 18.
ImFrackinBored 13
IDGAF how old i am. Im getting myself some free candy.
fthislyfe 22
Wear a blanket?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Weaksauce. Quilts are the in-thing nowadays.
Brice28_fml 10
So you're upset because you can't get candy? Well Halloween is over so my bet is it is really cheap at the stores now!
EnEl_Infierno 15
Well then go to a different neighborhood, duh.
Hockey_fan 0
What if he accidentally goes to a bad neighborhood? I don't think gangsters celebrate Halloween..
Enslaved 38
Yes they do. They all piled up in vans and trucks and trick o treated in my neighborhood. Apparently, we have better candy than their neighborhood. It was an interesting night, to say the least!!
kings1fan 6
I love giving candy to the trick or treaters! Anybody who knocks on the door gets candy even if there adults or might have already knocked!
mr_inkredible 0
Where you live? I'm coming next year
malignantmegan 3
Dude can I just take the whole candy bowl?!? :O me likes you
GSP101 0
Put (fake) blood on your self and say you killed your evil twin.
VDubbGrrl 4
Beautiful! Seriously though, after house #3 denies you candy, run back home and add blood, wings, or horns... Or dif hood
dansco 25
Great idea. Expand on it saying you cut their head off and carry it around in a bucket lol
TheAftermath 0
Well, take your costume off! You'd probably get more candies than your neighbor.
rubyjames 3
Go two houses ahead of him? No, I see the obvious solution here: you're going to have to murder your neighbor.
Im2Handsom 1
Just follow him and when he's finished, bag snatch him.
bemylove123 9
Go put a sheet over you try again.
boner_till_icoll 0
go hit him and show whos the BOSS ... Unless he's stronger .. Then go home and eat till u get fat ..
That0therguy 4
Go away. You're no good.