Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I moved into a new place. I wanted to be a good neighbor so I baked banana bread and knocked on the door across the hall. The woman looked terrified, said “No thank you,” and closed the door. Building security later asked why I was “soliciting food.” Turns out there’s been a string of fake delivery scams in the building. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé’s family’s house for dinner. They put pork and/or alcohol in EVERY. SINGLE. DISH. Including putting bacon grease in the desserts. They know I’m Muslim and his mom insisted I was being rude for only drinking water. We ended up leaving with me in tears. FML
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
But they're Snickers bars! Most people would sin against their religion for a Snickers bar. They'd later ask their deity for forgiveness and if the deity had ever tried a Snickers bar, forgiveness would be granted.
RichardPencil 32
Now we're going with valance states?!?! I'd call you Ferric, but that would be Ironic.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
But they're Snickers bars! Most people would sin against their religion for a Snickers bar. They'd later ask their deity for forgiveness and if the deity had ever tried a Snickers bar, forgiveness would be granted.
And1 12
They don’t have deities, you boron!!
alex_jaguara 33
Just take the joke, damn it!
RichardPencil 32
I've been called worse elements, you molybdenum!
Plop 17
You hexavalent chromium!
RichardPencil 32
Now we're going with valance states?!?! I'd call you Ferric, but that would be Ironic.
wysegirl 24
Did you know the kind of neighborhood you were moving to? Do research before wasting money so you understand the community you live in
RichardPencil 32
The OP ended up with a big bowl of Snickers bars. Hardly a waste of money!
FallenStar_2 2
Excuse me im muslim or atleast grew up muslim and my parents took me trick or treating and everyone i know did too.. You cant stop kids from getting candy...lol this story seems suspicious but honestly my neighborhood was kinda slow this halloween i think the pandemic has something to do with it. that guy was probably just assuming.