Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
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Top comments
choshaki 8
This kid probably has some issues
hunterhound 0
It wasnt today ????!!??? WTF
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Comments (119)
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
so... did you give him candy?
azpallen 0
so... did you give him candy?
Damn_Hippster 11
so... did you give him candy?
HahaHokayThen 10
Considering OP said "his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities"... no.
bitchslapped22 14
I moderated this! And I said no...how awkward
leogirl95 12
After I read the first sentence, I was like, what? This fml is fake! Then I saw the two weeks ago and was like, oh okay..
fanceh 10
If "running off screaming" for you means waiting patiently at the doorstep while she got him candy, then yes...
Drummerboy1234 0
that's a cool story 32, except for not at all.
yahoowizard 16
Nope, you don't feed those tweakers
LiyIa_fml 8
Gotta love kids. They make life so entertaining.
leogirl95 12
Yes!! I finally got too many negative votes
xoconnie 8
LMAO this FML creates a really funny scene in my head. hahahahaa poor kid!
AshleighNason 24
its not enough.
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
man no one understands sarcasm these days... uh oh my comment has 27 thumbs down I think I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep tonite while I down a whole bottle of Jack Daniels
FarSide 23
Little bipolar bastard.
coltsrock37 15
Dress as a bipolar guy. When he comes to the door, say your his twin
JustinComments 3
Do you understand what Bipolar means?
Ranimal 12
No, he doesn't. Yet I see more and more posts from the idiot in which he either doesn't make a bit of sense or are just completely off the wall stupid.
neffkid 0
**** u asshole
hunterhound 0
It wasnt today ????!!??? WTF
KiddNYC1O 22
You sure are dressed for it. (see colors)
J3R3MYY 14
Hey its him.. OP kick him back!
howdmynosego 12
No today's Easter
evamusical 12
In Holland there's no halloween, but à similar day, Saint Martin, and thats today.
chanta24 10
Maybe he has a mental disease :( were so quick to assume...
choshaki 8
This kid probably has some issues
Wheredidgrungego 12
Daddy issues? Nah. CANDY ISSUES!!!
mightymart 5
Yeah issues like having stupid parents who cant teach him manners...
Trolliolio 6
Could always send him to Neverland Ranch, Catholic Church, or Pen State.
youngbuck10 9
I would have pelted the son of a bitch with apples, oranges, and other heavy shit.
kimmiekimmiekong 0
wait r u saying apples and oranges r heavy?
LiveLaughFML 10
really, #5? what has our world come to? he's just a little kid! if you're going to do it right, get into the Halloween spirit and use pumpkins instead of oranges and apples! :D
13FTW 9
What the **** kinda apples and oranges you been eating? I don't consider the ones I eat to be heavy.
KiddNYC1O 22
20- When you get struck with one you'd think it was something heavy.
bejay 4
Watermelons. Argument resolved.
bejay 4
Watermelons. Argument resolved.
youngbuck10 9
Let me throw an apple at you and see if hurts! Kids aren't stupid and they know better than to kick people. It's sad there are people in this world who let kids do whatever they want just because "they are just little kids". Get a sense of humor, geez!
EvilCupcake8361 9
I suggest throwing flaming cow turds, but that's just me
2ndSucks 15
Was he at least dressed up?
luongo6 0
Was it Fred?
ChaeRi 3
This kid is going places.
fballer4310 3
Mental institution more like it.
CheeseOnTheSide 3
Bipolar kid.
btnhdude 0
Bifocal kid.
1JDub 6
You my friend shall have your house egged tonight....lol....
XxblueglazexX 0
Awesome!!!! He shall get eggs!!!!!
YayFlameWarz 9
Halloween's an emotional time in a young boys life; Strangers constantly putting their hands in and around your sack.
cbdee 8
I see what you did there 12..