Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML
Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML
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Top comments
GSP101 0
Put (fake) blood on your self and say you killed your evil twin.
rubyjames 3
Go two houses ahead of him? No, I see the obvious solution here: you're going to have to murder your neighbor.
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Comments (91)
perdix 31
I'm thumbing you up, Enslaved, I agree. However, it seems likes it's becoming quite common for older teens to go begging for free candy. Since this is the generation that will have to live with their parents after college (or instead of college), I can see why they want to hone their skills in asking for free shit.
perdix 31
Aw, you mean you're not getting cavities, diabetes and obesity? That's a shame.
nadiel_fml 0
You know what the sad thing is? They don't care that they'll be living with mom and dad forever. All my friends who graduated high school 8 years ago still live at home and I'm the outsider for geting a job and moving out of my mommy's basement. What a world
Liimitless 6
Just change costumes and hit the same houses.
Okayitwasme 0
Ya, that sucks, for some kids it's the only time they Ever get any treats. There is always next year.
perdix 31
nadiel, it's not necessarily that they are slackers -- it's just a shitty time in history to be starting a career. Kids today are graduating with staggering debt. The cost of education has skyrocketed and scholarships and grants have disappeared being replaced by high-interest loans. Also, starting wages have plummeted. If you think that the Occupy protesters mantra of the "War on the Middle Class" is a bunch of hot air, this is a direct result of that war being won by the One Percenters.
AmethystRain 20
Every kid who comes to my door gets candy or a bag of fritos/doritos, even the ones who look too old. Little ones in strollers get a full size chocolate bar, and parents get a jello shot. Seriously, it's Halloween, don't be a tightwad douchebag.
SanDiegoGirl111 3
A jello shot? **** YES!! That's what I call a treat! See ya next year =)
ACandelaria_209 1
You should have caught up to your neighbor and gone together.. Simple solution..
Poetaster 10
Change... Do the rounds...change...do the rounds. Repeat until you can smile at your bro IRS knowingly
Poetaster 10
IRS,,,seriously autocorrect?? Guess this is my FML for the day?
Dcm210 19
take his candy