Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (442)
xxLifexx 0
is she prohaps idk..... clueless?
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
Balls do not equal stupidity
whipmie87 0
would work if she had 2 uteri.
SirYuSuk 0
Thats actrually possible. A pregnant lady came into a clinic and she was having twins but the babys had different fathers.
a_nutritionist 10
yes, this would have happened in the first few weeks, not months later.
juniperlove_11 0
sounds like she was getting busy one day...
djewel6 0
ahh good ole superfecadation (two pregnancies two fathers) laugh or what some nickname **** disease hahaha
laurenzo16 0
if your wife has balls I'm pretty sure it's impossible for her to have a baby...
truehitman2010 0
anal sex?
LLBritt 0
I assume that no one on here gets that the wife is just saying that to avoid sex with the husband. Uhh Duh?
blink831forever 13
Sounds legit...everyone knows that a woman only gets pregnant with twins when she has sex during the nine months that she's pregnant in the upside down position against a wall on a full moon and only after both partners ingest tiger's blood.
avalyn 0
man i hope ur joking
kibotoyuki 7
...So, your wife has balls, does she now? Are you sure that a) you should be calling 'her' a 'she,' and b) if she has balls, how can she be pregnant? Unless she has both... Just talk to her about it, and unless she's an idiot/ignorant, she should understand. [Also, note the sarcasm in the first part of my post here - for all the internet-idiots out there who didn't catch it.]
corje20 0
a good question is is how much longer till the nine months are over.
corje20 0
great question