Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML
Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
Guys can get stretch marks too you know.
PoodleJuice 7
Did they make you look like a tiger?
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Comments (50)
sillyyanks 24
As a guy I can't relate to this whatsoever but I feel bad for you nontheless! FYL!
emeraldisle 30
Guys can get stretch marks too you know.
Thanatos_God3 2
Why would this have to have anything to do with being a guy? I'm a dude, and I have some stretch marks. Being a girl doesn't have anything to do with whether you have stretch marks or not...
sux4u121 10
Guys can get stretch marks too, I'm 16 and a guy and because I grew too fast I have multiple stretch marks on my legs.
BunchieRules 31
I believe it's related to growth as a child, because the skin hasn't grown enough. I may be wrong, though. Let's ask DocBastard about this subject.
Justy101 23
It can be either from rapid growth or from being overweight (even slightly overweight). Generally, stretch marks on a persons hips are caused by being overweight.
ajnorma 16
19 did you not see the hip stretch marks on the Olympic athlete that I can't name of the top of my head? Anyone can get stretch marks on their hips don't need to be over weight. Sorry just noticed you said generally..
TheMathMajor 26
Not all overweight people get stretch marks, but if you put on weight quickly you can get them. That's why pregnant women get them a lot on the stomach and boobs. It just has to do with your skin stretching faster than it can grow.
annie_nk 23
Weight lifting and body building (which is healthy) can cause stretch marks.
elinachka 7
Use some cream and the stretch marks will go away :)
1happymummy 14
They dont always help, time fades them though :)
eggmarie 25
I was told to use olive oil if you can't afford the expensive lotions :) Nothing to be embarrassed about though. It happens.
gc327072 31
Stretch happens.
lacespace 8
^you forgot a smiley face :)
cardinallove 11
Since hers are pink cocoa butter, vitamin E and the like could really help! Mine are white (I got them when I was young from a medication that made me fat post-pneumonia. I dropped the weight instantly and the stretch marks stayed :( ) and rubbing vitamin E on them everyday for a month (so far) has actually helped them fade. Good luck op!
annie_nk 23
If this were true, pregnant women wouldn't complain about stretch marks as much. I used lotion before I got a big belly and after. Still got stretch marks. My sister in law has had three kids (one was breech and HUGE on her petit build) and got zero stretch marks. It all depends on what your skin is like. Time makes them fade and I heard tanning might help but you can't get rid of stretch marks once they're there.
gc327072 31
Well at least OP was honest. No need to stretch the truth.
SammyS2012 21
I just got stretch marks on my thighs, hips, and breasts cause I just started growing all at once. They're still purple; will putting vitamin E really work?
laden_swallow09 35
Since you're still young, it should. The longer you don't treat them, the harder it'll be to cover them up or make 'em fade. Stock up on cocoa butter and E and apply daily.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Wow, what a d*ck for telling on you
sux4u121 10
Please re-read the FML and try again.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
She had to show them to everyone. So he pretty much told on her then
PoodleJuice 7
Did they make you look like a tiger?
emeraldisle 30
Why exactly did you have to show everyone else? Showing your brother wasn't proof enough?
MormonPornstar 7
1) Other people in the room were curious about the 'tattoo' 2) Pulling your brother aside and lifting up your shirt as a woman is frowned upon 3) Hiding it from everybody but the brother would lead them to believe there really was a tattoo and she was hiding it from them ....and so on.
mintcar 10
Why did you show everyone else? "Believe me or don't, I don't care. " That should've been your attitude
ohSNAPyall 27
Ground me or don't; I don't care.
mintcar 10
She showed her brother, she didn't mention she showed the rest to family.
PussyPredator 6
"I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo."
jamalamadingdong 18
Because if she still lives at home with her parents, they were probably pissed that she got a tattoo and she had to prove she didn't.
the_true_batman 10
I don't know if it would be any better to have her mom ground her for the next three years because she thinks she got a tattoo. I had a crazy growth spurt when I was younger and have stretch marks. Luckily I have lots of other things to be self-conscious about so I forget about them a lot. I noticed some on my hips the other day, white, not pink though.
eggmarie 25
Where does it say OP was changing? (here's the answer for the folks at home: it doesn't.)
Justy101 23
If you don't like having stretch marks, perhaps you should think about losing weight.
Sarcastic_x 6
Having stretch marks doesn't necessarily mean you're overweight. I have them from just growing a lot.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm pretty sure stretch marks don't go away once you lose weight...
KellyPeterson92 10
Oh they certainly don't! They'll haunt you forever no matter how much weight is lost :(
ElectriKiss 3
because losing weight automagically removes stretch marks. dumb ****. people don't get stretch marks JUST from gaining weight. growing can simply cause it.
unknown_user5566 27
49- Sheesh! "Dumb ****" seems a little harsh.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Stretch marks don't go away once u lose weight. I would know...
trg568 7
what about pregnancy ever think of that? think before you comment next time
annie_nk 23
I got stretch marks behind my knee from growing up.
sincerelyjay 13
#21 Not only from growing a lot but, fast also.
CoDHater 9
Inconsiderate bitch. Just because she has stretch marks, doesn't mean she is fat.
pregnantpianist 2
Exactly. I have them from being pregnant. Doesn't mean I'm fat. Ignorant ass.
the_true_batman 10
I've always been thin, but when I was 11 I grew a lot and got stretch marks from it. If I weighed any less I'd be underweight (people tell me I'm underweight now, but according to my BMI I'm the low end of normal).
deefan101 11
Hey dumb **** you still have stretch marks even if you loose weight!
ElectriKiss 3
it was not directed to you. she was stabbing OP about weight issues when stretch marks happen for more reasons than that.
starbursty 0
So let me help you out. As most people know now weight gain, becoming prego and grow at a rapid paste can cause stretch marks. NOT ONLY WEIGHT DUMBASS...
sorrowsangel89 1
You r obviously skinny huh? Stretch marks don't just occur from weight gain. There are a very rare few out there who never get them.
WeAreAHurricane 14
Er, shirts don't levitate? Ever stretched? Ever got your shirt stuck on something? Ever just simply brushed your own arm against your shirt? All of these things cause it to go up...
Justy101 23
16 - I bet your mother tells you that you're "special in a good way", doesn't she.