Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
foilindo 0
he won't poke the baby if he has a small wiener!! lol
butterflyz1961 2
Honestly, how old is she? lol
Eaglestrike117 29
That's not having balls (which I hope is not meant literally). That's being ******* retarded.
MizzErikaHart 8
had the balls, lol
mizz_m 2
if she ovulated again, then yes she could get pregnant again. or if the egg/sperm split then she would be having twins. shortly after the start of pregnancy the body forms a plug to keep amniotic fluid and baby in womb wich will also keep sperm out.
Babalu722 3
Thank you for being one of the seldom intelligent people here.
kduubb 7
change her mind(;
lisha88 1
does she know that it's better to keep having sex because it makes the childbirth easier and she won't get twins that way smh
rwq891 4
Dude, if she is that f* stupid, then you should be able to talk her into sex. Comeon man.
Melisso 4
1: had the balls? sounds like you are a rapist. 2: you are so dumb for having such a dumb baby mama.
Chrispayne 4
Op sounds like an ass. "wife had the balls to tell me?"
sarahmcgeee 5
seriously, he sounds like a dick
kurofuchs 5
agreed!
September_fox 2
My thoughts exactly. It's her body, she can do with it what she wants and OP has no control over it.