Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
thwei 0
sounds to me like she just doesn't wanna have sex. Safe sex exists after all. condoms, etc.
sweetalicious 1
she sounds like a bitch. divorce her! that'll teach her a lesson! >:D
alissonlove_fml 0
ha sucks for yu! I'm 40 weeks pregnant and I still have sex :) I had sex my whole pregnancy. and I'm only having one baby :)
raeka 1
Sorry to say this but I don't think that she should be reproducing...
1bluewolf 0
it can happen! I grew up knowing twins born six weeks apart! a risk she won't take! lol
Jasonf6 0
You married a stupid woman.
rubberbullets 0
Well shes not having any dental work done for the next 9 months right? Having her mouth full might keep any other dumb shit from coming out
sjs1220 2
During pregnancy the ovaries stop ovulating given the increase in estrogen and progesterone shutting down the hypothalamus through a feedback loop. Also, the increased progesterone thickens the cervical mucous making it impossible for sperm to get into the uterine cavity. Unless there is a pregnancy complication (i.e. bleeding), sex is perfectly safe throughout pregnancy.
imnotcraZ 0
your wife is stupid, but did you marry her just to get laid?
Mach10 0
You really didn't marry this one for her brains, did you? YDI