Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
kibotoyuki 7
...So, your wife has balls, does she now? Are you sure that a) you should be calling 'her' a 'she,' and b) if she has balls, how can she be pregnant? Unless she has both... Just talk to her about it, and unless she's an idiot/ignorant, she should understand. [Also, note the sarcasm in the first part of my post here - for all the internet-idiots out there who didn't catch it.]
kibotoyuki 7
Double-posted... stupid iPhone. (-_-; )
kibotoyuki 7
Double-posted... stupid iPhone. (-_-; )
drlemmon 2
Its actually possible.
bigdaddy907 0
1. she sounds like a total dumbass 2. they have to be conceived at or around the same time. So by the time you guys found out it's physically impossible to have twins. 3. sounds to me like there needs to be some good Education being brought into this womans life lol FYL!!!!!
thisisLAUREN 0
what do you mean "actually had the balls"? she's her own person she can do what she wants. if that involves not having sex with you then that's that. ydi for your attitude!
a_nutritionist 10
by that logic, hes his own person, if he chooses to go **** someone else then thats that. a marriage is a partnership between two people, not in independent person doing whatever they want.
a_nutritionist 10
retelling events as they happened is not 'insulting' someone. 'bitching someone out' again, is not retelling events. bitching ABOUT someone is. expecting someone youre in a relationship with who until this point has been sexually active and without just cause has now taken away that aspect of the relationship for what is 3/4 of a year IS a problem. this isnt just refusing sex every now and then, this is flat out refusing it for a 9 month duration. so yes, i would EXPECT her to continue doing things the way they have been done, since there is no reason to stop. and no 'i dont want twins' is not a justified reason, given the whole what, 10 cases ever recorded? so thats a risk of approx 0.0001% i could definitely empathise with her situation if there was a realistic need to stop, like say she was raped and couldnt handle it at this point, or going away for some period of time. this isnt one of those cases. you dont know he hasnt spoken to her, you cant make that claim after reading 2 lines. from the sounds of things she was pretty firm about it and uncompromising, given the use of the term "had the balls to"...
September_fox 2
So you're saying that nothing has changed in the marriage? I'm pretty sure that getting pregnant is a BIG CHANGE! I can completely understand her not wanting to have sex, especially if this is her first child. I'd be completely turned off from sex if I found out something was growing inside me because of it! And you know what; that's her decision to make. And no, that doesn't give OP the right to go cheat on her. They are married. Marriage vows include staying faithful to your partner. They also include honoring and cherishing your partner, which OP is obviously not doing. (Not to mention the fact that your condoning OP talking about his wife, and mother of his child like that is disgusting) What they DON'T include is that you will sleep with them whenever they want, regardless of if you are comfortable with it. The only thing that could help is talking to her about it. If she still decides she doesn't want to; OP needs to shut up. But I'm sure if someone was telling you making your own decisions about your body was ridiculous you would agree, right? No? Then shut up.
Msbrat823 4
Does she understand where twins come from to begin with? I had 2 sets of twins and had sex throughout both pregnancies. All my kids are fine. Sorry pal, my deepest sympathies...
lmao123123 0
everyone on here keeps making dumb balls jokes...u know u cant hear sarcasm over text? its just interpreted as stupidity.
TalkinSmack 6
aarrrgh matey!!
RockstarRN 10
It actually is possible early on. So, looks like ALL of you are stupid!
isac1234 0
Are you a milf ? You look like one ?
a_nutritionist 10
"It actually is possible early on." "can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy" " So, looks like" ... "you are stupid!"
lindy91 4
and why the **** not? is there something wrong with transmen who want to have kids?
isac1234 0
masturbating time ;]