Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
daxter136 0
wow she has balls how many including that large one on her belly
Sesh54 7
I'd laugh my ass off of she ends up having twins
thatssomeBS 9
YDI for being married to a moron.
jkrupili12 0
yeah.... it is ******* wired!!!
unrose 1
wait... so you can have twins by continuously having sex while in the early stages of pregnancy? I didnt think that was possible... cause when I have kids, I only want two and prefer them to be twins..
a_nutritionist 10
it is, in fact it will DEFINITELY happen. youre guaranteed to get twins. tell your boyfriend he can thank me later.
SplitChris14 0
don't get sperm on the baby!! seriously don't thats gross...
bananagurl17 0
you shouldn't have reproduced with her.....
Uraharas_Bankai 1
Ah Boners I was going to say that, but maybe OP still wants intercourse if his spouse has balls
i_wuz_nver_here 31
You married a complete idiot
Brdluvr 0
Ha ha hey maybe it could happen you never know ;p