Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I was walking to work when I noticed a cute guy ahead of me. He turned into every single street that I needed to take, and I started to worry he might think I was following him. Just as I was about to overtake him and prove I wasn't a creep, he turned into the building where I work. He's the new intern. Now I have to avoid eye contact for the rest of my life. FML
Today, I received a message from a weird guy that's been stalking me online. Apparently, he travelled 4 hours last weekend to go to the same event as me, just to stare at me. He knew a LOT of details. He never spoke to me because that would "have been weird". I don't know what he looks like, so didn't recognise him. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Next you'll be checking your lipstick in the reflection of his car window. And using his bathroom mirror to check if you have spinach in your teeth. And practicing your smile in the dull reflection of his dead empty eyes for your next one night stand.
BlackHawkSavior 28
The only solution now is to really stalk him
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Comments (16)
WCARlover 35
Haha your username. Screw him, OP. Oh wait...
Medieval_Unicorn 24
(☞ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡°)☞
Tb2806 3
It just so happened to be his building? That'a not very plausible.
Lalala579121 28
There are these things known as "coincidences".
popaulina 8
Does it matter what he thinks if he was just a one night stand?
BlackHawkSavior 28
The only solution now is to really stalk him
Googolman 29
Who cares what he thinks? Chances are you're not gonna run into him again and he'll calm down.
Welshite 40
Next you'll be checking your lipstick in the reflection of his car window. And using his bathroom mirror to check if you have spinach in your teeth. And practicing your smile in the dull reflection of his dead empty eyes for your next one night stand.
Tripartita 45
Wait, is that what you were doing when you were crouched over that body before I picked you up for our date? You told me you found him like that! You said you called the police! I'm starting to get really nerv—oh, hold on; there's an odd sound coming from my bathroom…
shortea09 4
??? You're crafty asf with those words!
forsook 12
Gotta say, originally I was thinking "oh, what an unfortunate incident, hopefully you can explain!", but then I saw your username and kinda think you deserve it. Maybe it's just an unfortunate coincidence, but you're not in a place to be so snobby here.
MrGarrett26 11
stop being promiscuous then:)
Yourheadache 19
dude shut the **** up
Tsukiyomi 16
Next time don't **** guys in your office you stupid shit
Nerd14 9
I don't think anybody wishes to be stalked or be would flattered by it, but hey maybe he could be the exception. Who knows?