Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
BBYgirl_22 3
and you're married to this girl??? ydi!
Deadnurse90 0
If she was a few days into the pregnancy it could be very possible to have twins. However, if she is in a few weeks to a month pregnant it's highly doubtful.
iChel413 6
lol. just talk to her and explain how that couldn't happen.
StealthyChicken 2
well maybe she should get an abortion, because anyone that stupid doesn't need to reproduce.
badluckattack238 0
your mom still had you, didn't she?
AunteyN 4
.....it doesn't work that way your wife fails
BetterLegs 0
areyouserious.jpg
izzy7 11
I feel sorry for your child. No one deserves to inherit that kind of stupidity.
Ugi 27
You married this woman and you expect sympathy? If you have a thing for dribbling imbeciles then that' s the risk you run.
badluckattack238 0
you can get pregnant with twins if you have sex with her during a certain amount of time. I believe it's a week or so. it's definitely not the whole pregnancy though.
BigRed764 2
thank you very much lol. They wouldn't be identical twins but still two babies.
rawritsannie 0
my mind is full of ****....