Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (442)
SiriusOrionBlack 20
...you did tell her that its impossible for that to happen right?
Kwejee 1
Actually, that's possible (not the twin part). I know someone who that's happened to. :p
jokrofhearts 1
Actually, having sex while pregnant won't give you twins because if it were possible, the two "babies" would be at different stages, thus giving a longer pregnancy.
freakguy455 0
Anal, But then again she's probly stupid enough to think she would have an ass hole baby
VelvetRain 6
That would explain most of the kids nowadays.
Bastet1981 3
I love the fact that most of you are saying this girl/woman is stupid and should learn about pregnancy. But it is very rare for a pregnant woman to concieve while she is already pregnant. Has the OP actually heard of condoms?
chiddy_bang71 0
aaarrrggggg matey!
chiddy_bang71 0
wtf u beat me there :(
skyeyez9 25
Well I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to have sex with you. OP sounds like quite the catch! ydi. I bet you are a jerk towards her from the way your rant was written. Newsflash: She is allowed to not have sex if she doesnt want to!
Brookeismine 0
that could screw up the baby. if you can't wait 9 months to have sex with her.. you have problems.
joa76 3
No, no it couldn't. It's perfectly fine to have sex during pregnancy.
Dems20 0
probably just happy she has an excuse not to have sex with u