Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
chosha_fml 27
And she's going to raise your child. I'd consider getting a nanny. A smart one.
luckoirish14 6
for everyone that says "sound legit" that's not how twins work... if it hasn't happened already there is a good chance it WON'T happen
a_nutritionist 10
this isnt like a "sorry ive got a headache" situation. shes simply increasing her risk of being cheated on for the entire 9 month duration. if he cheats on her, im gonna go with YDI when she posts on here. hey, its his body and his choice, remember?
Poliahputz 0
wow...some people are simply unintelligent. your wife n hollywoodgirl
BigRed764 2
You guys do realize it is possible to get pregnant twice. Some girls release two eggs at the same time and one could become fertilized and then if u have sex soon enough the other one could be fertilized also. it's not the most common thing but it can happen and ya that doesn't explain why she can't for the full 9 months
njgohard 16
For your sake, I hope she's hot, because f**king her was dumber than that comment.
juniperlove_11 0
ehh... hormones will get to her eventually. I'd be more concerned with the fact that she thinks she can still get pg...
at1325 0
I really hate how this is worded. by saying she had the balls to tell you this, it sounds like she is demanding something very out of line. she's not. while her reasoning for it may be flawed ( once your pregnant you can't get pregnant again until after you give birth) it is her body and she has every right to determine when she is comfortable having sex. if she doesnt want to have sex while pregnant, you guys don't have sex while she's pregnant.
a_nutritionist 10
she does if she told him BEFORE getting pregnant, or having a real reason to back up her desire. what it comes down to is she simply doesnt want to, and is unwilling to compromise to meet her partners needs. he has every right to be pissed, he just got ****** over pretty badly.
djewel6 0
i dunno how others feel by at1325 is kinda cute. ;). I'll bet shed be hot when she's preggers.
sneeze_watch 19
I REALLY hate how this is worded too. "She had the balls"? Are you ******* kidding? It's her body! Sure she may be a dumbass in thinking that's how you get twins, but if she doesn't want to have sex for ANY reason then it's her right to refuse. Grow the **** up.
jmorin 0
sounds like you should move out for 9 months. if shes pregnant she won't develop twins just by having sex. obviously someone missed sex ed.
rocketsciencebit 0
ur wife is a dumbass no offense but it's the cold hard truth