Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
sunflower21 0
how stupid she is !!
djewel6 0
depends on how far along she is if she just found out and isn't very far along there is the remote possibility of her ovulation a second time to end up with fraternal twins but in truth woman don't find out that early enough for it to be an issue but if she's barely late then yes she has a point but if she's 2 months along or more she just ill-informed stupid or secretly dumb enough to believe sex during pregnancy is dangerous. im a nurse so just adding some medical facts to the discussion
zavo4able 0
your wife is an complete and utter idiot
NightFoxx 6
you picked a winner alright, that idiot is the mother of your child..
KruseBaby27 0
If she had balls, you wouldn't be in this situation...
army129 0
first of all that's not how it works.... secondly having sex during pregnancy makes it easier when the baby is born so fine if she wants to have more pain than necessary be my guest
Flutist 3
Maybe she feels like crap cause she is pregnant, feels unattractive, and doesn't feel like she needs to give you sex, Op. Depending on how long/far into the pregnancy she is she might just be tired and sex is what got her into the problem in the first place.
ollierobs 0
Woah was that necessary? I never understand why people thumb down comments more than ten. But please, thumbs down the shit out of this one too.
jack_tells_truth 0
FYI, once you get pregnant the baby releases hormones that keep further eggs from being released, so there's no way she can get pregnant again, but hey you married the retard so you deserve it
thwei 0
rather illogical. marriage = being honorable to the other person, not him doing whoever coz it's his body. but her refraining from sex because of her own personal (if dumb) reasons IS her right, even in a marriage. vows don't say "I will have sex with you no matter what when or how much I dont want to."