Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
ospeltz 0
Fools. That wouldn't give her twins, or a second baby for that matter.
Daederoth 10
I don't think having or not having balls has anything to do with ignorance. And just so we're clear, having sex while pregnant is not where twins come from.
tucansam555 3
YDI for marrying a dumbass..
tucansam555 3
YDI for marrying a dumbass..
MyS3lf 24
You sound like a real asshole. She had the balls? Like WTF are you gonna do? Beat the crap out of her? Yeah, her reasoning is dumb, but then again maybe she thinks you're dumb enough to fall for it. Or maybe she was joking and you're such an asshole that all you caught was the 'can't have sex for nine months' bit and got pissy over nothing. F-you and your stupid ego.
skyeyez9 25
Amen. He sounds like a mysogynist.
seraphxchild 3
thats common actually. you kind of sound like a dick though.
grapist 0
he's not a dick. men need pleasure.
niki74_fml 0
Your wife can't have balls. wife=girl. Girl=uhh, never-mind.
antisocialanna 0
sorry, but it doesn't work that way...
SillySydney 0
Smart girl.
grapist 0
have sex with someone else then. but just come back to her when the nine months are up