Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
grapist 0
you guys judge way too harsh. come on men need pleasure! I bet most of you guys out there would feel the same way. yes it is good reasoning but stuff with good reasoning can still make you mad
lulzmylife 4
"Men need pleasure"? Oh, give me a break. Hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but men are not entitled to stick their penises into women whenever they please. Believe it or not, sex is not a requirement for life like food, water, or oxygen. If the OP is so damn desperate to get off, I hear there's this new thing these days called masturbation.
September_fox 2
ok...let me get this straight. . . OP is badmouthing his wife, expecting her to have sex with him when shes not comfortable with it (BTW, if he forces her and she doesn't want to, doesn't matter if they are married, its still rape) and rants about it on the internet and you're saying we're judging him too harsh? Can someone please give me a baseball bat or something so I can beat the stupid out of this guy?
jack19911016 0
why not try anal sex ?
jingersnap721 0
it could happen. they wouldn't be twins and the chance is very small (like one in a million) but it could happen. I bet she read that news story about that couple who just had two babies that were not twins
davek 36
YDI for marrying someone with such a lack of any ******* clue.
theonlysweetpea 10
It's not the sudden arrival of "balls", dumbass but the severe lack of "brains". FYL for marrying Paris Hilton
lulzmylife 4
I'm glad you clarified that her pregnancy is going to be nine months long.
lovebug1627 0
she's not only stiff she's also crazy you can't pregnant once your pregnant
Allyb321 0
so?
birdie013 0
well doctors encourage sex during pregnancy, and that's not how twins work ;)
gegelal 1
She is pregnant goddamit. Don't you know that it is not healthy to **** a pregnant woman. It doesn't matter if she's pregnant for 1 or 9 months, it is not advised to do it. You're a horrible creepy person that wants to **** a woman with an embryo inside her womb. Wow. Well, it is less creepy if you wanted anal. But still, you should remember that pregnant women tend to be more sensitive during pregnancy.
joa76 3
Actually, it's perfectly fine to have sex during pregnancy. Look it up.
Cynical_in_SK 6
Uhm...you're an idiot! Sex during pregnancy is not only perfectly safe it's normal. My wife and I had sex the whole time she was pregnant with all three of our kids right up till she gave birth. in fact for two of our kids it was having sex that brought on labour. if jot she would have had to be induced.