Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
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Top comments
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
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Comments (118)
Lil_Red777 21
You two shouldn't even be sharing a room at your age.
Tidus0 17
Two things Axe (Lynx where I live) isn't all the good anyway. The chocolate one smells like arse. Also your main fml really should be "I share a room with my preteen brother. I frequently find bleach smelling socks. Fml"
Omniprism 15
Tell him that that is actually repelling the ladies. He's actually masking his natural pheromones to attract the ladies. Once a day in the morning, just a little is enough. Hope you can convince him.
musicblaster 9
I know how you feel OP! My little brother went through the same phase. The only difference between your situation and mine is that I didn't share a room with my brother but yet he somehow managed to make the whole house smell like it!
tranced_ 45
welp at least he's not gay
acrouch 9
Gas mask?
Smoldering 15
Welcome to Hollister???
ottokat 15
If your allergies act up so much that you choke to death, yout brother will officially be an axe murderer.
yeongji 31
This is when you get some of your girl friends (who he does not know) to be around him and when he hits on them, they reject him. Hopefully he will get the point then.
jasattica 4
At least he makes an effort to smell good, he could be the complete opposite and not believe in deoderant.
Elem3ntGhost 11
Wait until you get awoken by the sounds of him masturbating Just hope he doesnt shoot you with a dick blast Fyl